teaching children what true friends are

Yesterday one of my cherubs burst into tears when I picked them up from school.

After a hug and a few moments of silence I asked what was wrong.

They were upset because someone did not want to be their friend.

This person had loudly yelled in their face that they did not want to be friends with them.

Then this person said they wanted to be friends with another one of my children instead.

My poor cherub was crushed and even though they were yelled at:

they still wanted to be friends with the child who yelled at them.

Not only was the rejection hard enough it was made worse by comparison to another family member.

I took my cherub home and talked to them about what a true friend is.

I shared that I understood that their feelings were hurt and that it is sad when someone doesn't want to be friends with you. Especially when you haven't done anything wrong. I shared that I am really happy that my cherub wants to be friends with everyone and even people who are not nice to them. That is a wonderful trait to have in life.

I then explained:

A good friend is someone who doesn't yell at you. 

A good friend doesn't walk up to you and scream in your face. 

A good friend doesn't say things to hurt your feelings.

A good friend is fun and kind and wants to spend time with you.

I suggested that maybe this person who yelled really isn't the type of friend you want to have in your life. Maybe being friends with them isn't going to make you feel good or happy. We talked about how it is alright to not be good friends with someone who is not nice to you. It is important in life to pick good friends who are going to love you for who you are and the younger you can learn that lesson the happier you will be.

I also shared that maybe this child was not having a good day, maybe they don't know how to be a nice friend and maybe they don't know how to talk nicely. There are so many 'maybe's' that I feel I need to prepare my children for that it often makes me a little worn out and teary!

After we had our little chat my cherub skipped away happy and ready to head off to school the next day. I also talked to my other children about the issue and shared that maybe if someone yells at someone in our family, right in their face and is mean, then maybe they really aren't the type of friend you want to have in your life either.

As a parent I find it is really important to have these little chats with my children. It is worthwhile taking the time to teach them what true friends are and I know I will be having this conversation over and over again in our home. 

There is so much for children to learn about what true friends are. I have personally found that teaching and educating my children about what a true friend is has saved them from being bullied at school because they know that a real true friend would not hurt or harm them and that type of behaviour is to be reported and dealt with right away.

I want all of my cherubs to have real, loving, true friends. They can make such a difference to surviving the school years and especially the teenage years. As someone who believes it is important to love and care for everyone, I also believe that we need to take a stand to protect ourselves from unnecessary hurt and harm as well. 

Finding a balance between the two has been one of my greatest challenges as a parent in teaching my children. I am still working out what is the best advice and often it depends on each individual situation. For now, I am chatting up a storm in my home and teaching my cherubs the best I can how to survive this crazy life. We are all learning how to do this together and it is a wonderful journey!

{This was not a friend who decided to change their mind and could have been having a bad day, this was the first time my cherub had met this child.}

a heart breaking decision about my book

It is with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes that I am letting you know the decision I have made about my book. 

I have spent the last 10 months pouring my time and heart into writing a book about my experience of being a victim, survivor and thriver of childhood sexual abuse. 

It has not been an easy journey. I have shed many tears as I struggled to put myself back into that time of my life and spent many days feeling physically ill and even throwing up as I remembered what my life used to be like. 

To cope I had a picture of myself as a young girl and a picture of myself now hanging side by side above my desk to remind myself that was then and this is now.

My dream has been to write this book to help other people who have been abused. 

I wanted to sell the book and donate the proceeds to a charity to help provide counselling for young children who have been abused. I never wanted to make money from it for myself. I wanted to write it to pay it forward. 

I never received any help and counselling when I was a child and I loved the idea of helping other children have what I did not.

I have been chasing this dream for years. 

I have been personally working hard on my heart, my thoughts and my spirit so that I could get to the stage where I could talk and write about my experience. 

So it breaks my heart to share with you that I am not going to publish my book.

Here is why:

When I was young and was sexually abused, the close family member who abused me was a police officer at the time. That was his full time work. When I told my Mum what happened and she told me off and did not believe me, I knew that there was no hope for me.

There was no hope to get any help or to have anyone believe me. 

Who would believe my word over a police officer?

How could I without the support of my Mum and other family members, take on a police officer?

How could I as a young child take on someone who was well acquainted with law and the court system?

When I was older I went through the process of reporting what happened to me as a child to the police. I made a statement and worked with detectives to see if there was any chance of taking the issue to court. 

I gave the person who abused me the opportunity to confess, to make his life right with the laws of the land and with himself. Not only is abusing a child a crime against the child but it is also against the law!

He chose to fight against that opportunity and from his years in the police force he knew how to get away with doing just that.

There was nothing else I could do. 

In order to tell my story I want to write openly and honestly about what happened to me. Constantly writing throughout my book that a close family member did this or that just doesn't have the same effect as being able to openly share what that relationship is.

I don't want to publish a book that is only half a story because I can only share a small part of it incase I  will be sued. Legally I can't say much about a person until they have been proven guilty in a court of law. 

I have no chance or hope of that happening.

I also don't want to put my family through the horrible experience of being taken to court because of something I said about a person who clearly is in the wrong and has done so much to harm me already.

My children are young and I need to put them first. If they were older and understood what was involved and said, go for it mum, we are here for you, it would be a different story.

At first I was mad. It was as if he was still controlling my life. I still am not able to speak up about what I want and after all those years of being told to stay quiet, he is still winning.

But, you know what. He hasn't. He isn't winning.

This is my decision not to publish this book. I am in control of it.

I still have a voice against childhood sexual abuse. 

I can still write here on my blog about my journey.

I can still support organisations who help children who are abused.

Right now, I feel saddened that I have to put my book on hold.

Right now, I know it is right to sit on it and to wait.

Whilst for now, publishing my book dream has closed, this now allows me to be open to chasing new dreams and goals. 

I simply want to help raise awareness for childhood sexual abuse.

That has always been my main dream.

By not publishing my book I know I can still do that.

So today I am going to have a big cry, let myself grieve a little and then move on.

I have gained so much strength by writing my story down.

I know it was time not wasted.

I also thank you for your love and support during this time.

It has been greatly appreciated.

{P.S: I have turned comments off on this blog post because I emotionally just can't take any more criticism this week. I have already received enough for being who I am and I know some people might be upset as I know they were really looking forward to reading my book. I hope you understand. N x}

Target Winter Essentials: Boots + Poncho + Denim Shirt

Official Blogger Post for Target.

Winter is fast upon us and every year I add a few winter essential items to my wardrobe to stay warm, cozy and up-to-date with the latest fashion. I love to bargain hunt what I think will last at least several years, will be comfortable to wear and what will fit into my crazy lifestyle.

I took myself off to Target to check out what Winter Fashion they had available and came home with a few treasures that have been rocking my wardrobe ever since! Target is currently having a Winter Inside and Out Sale and have some real bargains on offer.

I first of all selected from the Target Winter clothing range a black poncho jumper and a pair of black boots.
I love a fun, stylish jumper and a pair of boots that are super comfortable and warm.

In the Target footwear section I selected a pair of boots that have a small heel, which is just enough for me to feel cool in and still small enough to run around doing the many errands I do each day. I chose a pair that has an extra wide calf as I love to stuff my jeans into my boots and I hate the feeling of my boots being way too tight on my legs. 

Not only have I been wearing these boots with pants and jeans but I have been wearing them with skirts and dresses. I am really short and normally I wear boots with a higher heel to finish off my outfits but these boots are so comfortable I have been letting the higher heel slide and going with comfort instead. I must be getting older! 

You can see what boots Target has on offer online in their Footwear section HERE.

I also selected from the Target Women's Winter Fashion range the Hot Options Cable Knit Poncho in black. The poncho is awesome because it covers my butt and my stomach which I am a little self conscious about right now and hangs and flows nicely. Also adds a lovely layer of warmth to my outfit.

The poncho is so fun to wear and will make you want to spin and twirl and you will feel like you are a super woman wearing it. Alright, maybe that is just me! If you are going into Target I recommend checking this poncho out.

After spending way too much time stalking the Target Footwear range I could not go past this pair of Notorius Ankle Boots in Light Brown. I love, love, love these boots. I have been wearing them with everything; jeans, skirt, pants and dresses. A little bit country and a lot of comfort and style.

I don't know about you but when I get a new pair of shoes or clothing, I always want to dance in it to test it out! 

Kind of like the ultimate test for me...if it can handle my singing and me rocking out in it..then it is a keeper!

Whenever I put on these boots I want to start prancing around and belting out a country song. I love the tassel hanging off the side and they add an extra spring to my step every day I wear them. 

They are totally fun to wear with jeans and a blazer. They are available as part of the Target Winter Fashion range and also come in black. I am seriously thinking about going back to get myself a black pair as well. 

Not only do I love the Notorious Ankle Boots but so does someone else in my family. So much so that I had to go get Chelsea a pair as well. She looks way cooler than me in these boots with a pair of tights and a dress. Chelsea has turned them into her kids fashion favourite go-to shoe for this winter.

As I was exploring the store with all that Target has to offer for winter fashion choices, Liahona also decided she wanted to share her favourite Kids Clothing essential item for this winter. A denim shirt with some extra sparkle and bling.

Liahona teamed up her Target denim shirt with a white t-shirt and black pants and has been living in this outfit ever since.
I am not joking! She loves to dress comfortably with a little bit of fashion flair and every time I see her in this outfit I want one exactly the same.

As you can see we had way too much fun shopping at Target! 

If you are looking for some winter essential items and bargains, head in store or check out Target online. As a family, we are all set for what cold chills may come our way and are feeling pretty spoilt with our new winter wardrobe additions. 

You can also see what other Target bargains we have found by clicking here: budget friendly clothes.

What is your winter essential clothing item?

life as a Mormon woman

Hi! My name is Naomi and I am a Mormon. 

Or as I really like to say: 

Hi! My name is Naomi and I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. 

Mormon is just a nickname people give members of our church and why not? 

It really is much shorter to say :)

Does me being a Mormon make a difference to you? Probably not. 

Does being a Mormon make a difference to me? Yes! Absolutely! 

Here is why...

{Me: Slightly overweight, mum of many cherubs, wonky smile, quirky personality, 

jewellery lover, blogger, writer, survivor, thriver and Mormon.}

I haven't always been a religious person. In fact, God never meant anything to me at all. I have shared a little about my personal journey to find God in my life and how I came to join the Mormon church HERE.

As a woman, when deciding what church to join I was very careful. I didn't want to spend my life stuck in a religion where I was not allowed to have a voice, where I would be looked down upon because I was female, where I would have a husband who would command my every move, where I quietly would spend my time in the background and have my wings clipped.

I wanted a religion where I was free to speak my mind, where I would be valued because I was female, where I would be respected and work equally with my husband, where I could lead and serve, where I could openly share my feelings and opinions and where I would be given wings to fly.

I asked A LOT of questions and did a lot of research when choosing what religion was right for me. I found that the Mormon church ticked all of those requirements that I was looking for. I read books for the church and against the church. I studied it all. I wanted to see it from all angles before committing to join.

Since becoming a Mormon woman, which is very different to how I was before, I have grown and progressed in ways I could never have imagined. I have been able to speak in church, teach doctrine, pray in front of congregations, counsel with other leaders, organise activities, represent the church as a full-time missionary, lead the women, speak up about issues, become a confident public speaker, find peace and happiness in my life, develop talents I never knew I had and stay true to myself at all times.

I am passionate about helping other women feel happier in their lives and believe it is important to keep it real as well. Since becoming a Mormon, I have had wonderful opportunities to work with women in my local church and in my local community. I have been able to serve and lead the 'younger women' we have in our church and community. I have also been able to serve and lead other women 18+ years of age in our church and community as well.

I have been a 'president' or leader of the women in our local congregation. I have also been a 'president' or leader overseeing 6 other congregations of women at once in my local area. In this role I was able to plan and organise women conferences, workshops and leadership training meetings. I sat in counsel meetings, voiced and shared my concerns about a variety of topics, including women issues, children's issues and family issues. I organised service projects in the community and visited many women in their homes to assist and help in times of need. I don't ever remember a time where my voice and opinion was not listen to, carefully considered and respected by other church leaders.

I share this to demonstrate that my life is full of opportunities to speak up, be a voice and to be myself. As women we are encouraged to make our own decisions, be educated, speak our minds, lead in our homes and in our communities, to develop our talents and to have our own relationship with God.

I was able to do all this whilst being a mother to my children and was never made to feel like I should be at home keeping my mouth shut spending all of my time doing the housework or cooking. I was always encouraged to lead, to grow personally and was respected with the opinions I shared. My husband has always given me wings to fly and supported me in anything I have wanted to do.

I live a very busy full life. I write here on my blog and share whatever I want. I speak on radio every week and say whatever I want. I make jewellery and sell it and use my time how I want. I raise my children in equal partnership with my husband, how we personally want. I have had as many children as I wanted and just for interest sake, before I was a Mormon I wanted 10 and now that I am a Mormon I have 7 with no plans of having any more :)

Anyone who knows me personally, knows that I love to speak my mind and would not stand for one second to put up with living life as an oppressed woman in a religion. Since becoming a Mormon woman my life has been full of joy and thrived. It has not been perfect and a smooth ride and I wouldn't expect it to be. I have also had challenging times and trials in life just like anyone else or anyone from any other religion.

I am not perfect and don't believe I am better than anyone else just because I am a Mormon. I am simply sharing that I love how my life has changed and I love how I am encouraged to reach my full potential as a Mormon woman. I know I am loved for who I am, quirky personality and all and becoming a Mormon woman has changed my life in so many ways for the better.

One of the best decisions I ever made in my life was to join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. So take me as I am, Mormon woman and all. This is who I am. It is such an important part of me and influences every thing I do. It is one the reasons I am so passionate about helping other women and about being a great mother. I want all women to have wings to fly just like I do. It is an awesome life.

Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution Day 2013

As a huge Jamie Oliver fan, I was delighted to be chosen as a blogger to help promote Food Revolution Day here in Australia for today: 17th May, 2013. Love Jamie's books, love his shows, love his Homecooker! I am not a food blogger so I am guessing it is simply my love of eating food that was the reason I was picked :)

Food Revolution Day is a global day of action for people to make a stand for good food and essential cooking skills. It's a chance for people to come together and to share their kitchen skills, food knowledge and resources. The purpose of the day is to raise awareness about the importance of good food and better food education for everyone by focusing on three simple actions – cook it, share it, live it.

There is a special tag for the day, #FRD2013, so if you want to join in and post a picture of what awesome food you create we would love it if you shared it on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook - anyway you can and use the hashtag to help spread the message. We want to see your awesome recipes and see your family cooking, eating and loving healthy meals! 

Jamie will tell you more about it HERE. Feel his passion people!

I was sent a bountiful box of food from Aussie Farmers Direct with the challenge of creating a healthy soup to inspire you all. Naomi. Soup. Inspiring. Normally three words not found in the same sentence but I was up for the challenge! 

I decided very late last night to share with you my Chilli Basil Pumpkin Soup (yes I totally made up my own soup! well, I am sure someone, somewhere has already made it before!) and Garlic and Basil Pull-Apart Bread. I made them in no time in the Thermomix and they taste pretty darn good if I do say so myself!

Garlic and Basil Pull-Apart Bread.

First of all, I made the Garlic and Basil Butter.

I have recently been experimenting with different flavour butters and I love this combination. I used: 3 cloves of garlic (use however many you like), 6 Basil leaves and 200g of Unsalted Butter. I chopped up the butter and then threw them all in the Thermomix, put it on blend for 10 seconds on Speed 6. Ta da! 10 seconds later I have awesome butter! If you don't have a Thermomix you can throw it in a food processor and mix it until combined.

For the Pull-Apart Bread....

450g lukewarm water
1 tablespoon dried yeast
1 teaspoon of salt
750g bakers flour
100g olive oil
your awesome herb butter!

Grease your cake tin for your bread. Set aside for later.

Thermomix option:
Put water, yeast, salt, flour and oil into the Thermomix and mix for about 6 seconds on speed 6.
Then knead for 2 minutes.

Pour out your dough onto a lightly floured surface and create into a ball shape. Place in a bowl, cover with a tea towel and sit in a warm place for 30 minutes. Turn your oven on to 180 degrees.

Take your dough and give it a good couple of punches. Then roll out into a rectangle shape with about 5 cm thickness. Spread your awesome herb butter all over that dough.

Cut into long strips about 4 cm wide. Pick up each strip and fold on top of itself and put into your cake tin. Squash them all in next to each other for an awesome looking effect.

Allow to sit for about another 10 minutes. Bake in the oven for 40-45 minutes.
Bread is ready when it is brown on top and looks like it is cooked through.

Enjoy the taste, smell and benefit of homemade bread!

{I adapted this option from the Everyday Cookbook for Thermomix}

Regular option:
I recommend following Jamie Oliver's Basic Bread recipe HERE.

When you get to step 5 roll your dough out into a rectangle shape with about a 5cm thickness. Then spread your awesome herb butter all over that dough.

Cut into long strips about 4cm wide. Pick up each strip and fold on top of itself and put into your cake tin.
Place them or squash them all in next to each other.

Allow to sit for another 10 minutes and then bake in the oven for 40-45 minutes.
Bread is ready when it is brown on top and smells divine!

Chilli Basil Pumpkin Soup

1 red onion chopped

2 or 3 cloves of garlic

1/2 teaspoon of chilli flakes

{adjust depending to taste}

6 small Basil leaves

1 tablespoon Olive Oil

1/2 teaspoon of curry powder

500g pumpkin

6 small potatoes or 3 large potatoes

1 litre of chicken stock

Thermomix option:

Place the red onion, garlic, chilli flakes, basil, olive oil and curry powder in the thermomix. 

Blend for 2 seconds on speed 6. 

Then saute for 2 mins/Varmoma/ Speed 2 to soften. 

Then add potatoes, pumpkin and chicken stock. 

Cook for 15 minutes/100 degrees/Speed 2

Allow to cool for about 5 minutes.

Blend soup for 30sec on speed 7. Increase speed slowly as it is very hot!

Taste test and serve!

Enjoy the awesome pumpkin flavour with a kick of chilli at the end of each bite x

Saucepan option:

Place the red onion, garlic, chilli flakes, basil, olive oil and curry powder in a large saucepan and stir until all ingredients have softened. For about 3 minutes.

Then add potatoes, pumpkin and chicken stock. 

Cover and bring to the boil. Reduce the heat to a medium low and allow to simmer for 15-20 minutes or until potato is soft. Set aside for 5 minutes to cool. 

Blend your soup however you like and serve.

Enjoy x

“Food is a joy and we should celebrate it. But it’s important that we have the understanding to know what we can eat every day and what we should save as an occasional treat. I hope that all over the world on May 17th, people embrace great food and that many thousands of people come away from Food Revolution Day with a better understanding of food and cooking.”

Remember to share what you are making today by using #FRD2013 and @FoodRev on twitter.

Enjoy your awesome healthy food!

Ambassador for the Life Changing Experiences Program

I am passionate about working with charities and helping youth. As a blogger I have had the opportunity to promote some wonderful charity organisations here on my blog and in my personal life I have been able to work with youth in a variety of ways through my church. 

Over the last year as I have written and shared more about my own personal upbringing, I have been on the lookout for a charity that I could promote and be associated with. I am delighted to share that I am now an Ambassador for the Life Changing Experiences Program. 

This charity is a wonderful fit for me as I simply ADORE the SISTER2sister Program. It was created by Jessica Brown who wanted to start a national charity to raise funds to aid 'at risk' teenage girls who have endured trauma/suffering through various circumstances. What an inspiring woman and program! 

The SISTER2sister program fills that need and every year they take on 50 girls and their 50 Big Sister Mentors. The program is a 12 month mentoring program for teenage girls at risk of abuse and/or neglect which provides the girls with professional positive female role models to inspire and motivate them through a goal setting and achieving program to make a difference to their lives.

As a survivor and thriver of childhood sexual abuse I love that I can help promote a program set up to mentor young girls who have been through similar experiences to me. I so wish I had a mentor to help me during those years. I would have healed faster, hated myself less, it would have saved me so much heartache and pain and given me the direction and guidance I needed. Even having someone to talk to would have saved me in so many ways! 

I can't imagine how different my life would be if I had a mentor for 12 months! I get teary just thinking about what a difference that would have made and I love that Jessica has created this program to save girls from the suffering I went through alone.

The Life Changing Experiences Foundation offers youth support programs. Along with the SISTER2sister Program they also run The Butterfly Opportunity Program which is an ongoing opportunity beyond the SISTER2sister Program for skills development and work experience in collaboration with the community, involving local educational institutions and businesses.

I am really excited to share more of this wonderful charity with you over the next year and would love it if you took the time to pop on over and check out the Life Changing Experiences Program website. You can also follow them on facebook.

                                                            

Instagram wall of love with PosterCandy

Home tour: Dining Room

I have been giving my home a little makeover. In each room I have been adding more colour and fun to reflect our family and the love we have for each other. As I am a huge Instagram fan and dedicated user, I decided to use some of the many, many pictures I have taken to brighten up our dining room. {You can find me as 'sevencherubs' on Instagram by the way}. I decided to create an Instagram wall of family love with the help of PosterCandy. 

Here is a before picture of my dining room:

Here is the after picture with the Instagram PosterCandy posters I added to the wall:

I have always wanted a whole wall of Instagram pictures and I am really, really happy with the result. I love that it is bright, fun and full of colour to help liven up our family dining area. As a family we love walking past and enjoying the memories all collected together on our wall. 

This space is also where we have wonderful conversations around our dinner table, where we laugh, where we plan family activities, where we play games, do homework and devour awesome food. So many good, good times we have had together as a family happen in this small room and I love that we can remember more good moments through the pictures on our wall.

I ended up using 8 posters to cover the wall. I ordered 10 posters altogether and am still undecided as to whether or not I will cut them up to fill in the remaining gaps on the wall. To give it a finish off the look and to make it flow completely to the ground and to the side of the next wall. I just can't bring myself to cut the posters up yet! I am also undecided as to if I should put them in 8 frames and centre them on the wall. Decisions, decisions!

Home decorating for me is all about featuring what you love. Right now I am loving colour and pictures of my sweet cherubs, so this was a perfect fit for me. For now we are absolutely loving it. The posters have totally changed the whole feel of the room and when you walk into our home and see my Instargram Heart Wall in my entrance way and then walk into our kitchen to see more pictures of our family...you can kind of tell I am big on family and love my kids :)

To order and design the posters, I went to the PosterCandy website. I then selected the size of the poster I wanted to create, I chose the 70cm x 100cm size and went through the process of selecting what images on Instagram I wanted to showcase in my posters. I chose the poster that had 70 images in each poster as I wanted the pictures to be as large as possible.

I found the process of ordering and selecting very easy. All your Instagram pictures automatically load and you can easily scroll down and select what you want to feature on the posters in your home. You simply click on your Instagram picture and drag it across to your poster and position it where you would like it to be. So much fun to design and create. If you want to give it a try, pop on over to the PosterCandy website and check it out. You only pay for the prints you order so it is perfectly fine to have fun experimenting.

Are you on Instagram? Do you love decorating? 

Would you display a whole wall of Instagram pictures in your home?

*I received a discount from PosterCandy to order 10 posters. 

I paid for the posters myself and this is not a sponsored blog post*