Last week I went to the school to wave off Harmony on a school excursion. She was going on a bus trip to the zoo. As I was waiting for the bus to leave I had a great chat with another mother about the excursion.
I had mentioned that I really wanted to go with my daughter on this trip but that because I was flying to Sydney that morning to spend time with my husband I was going to miss it. She then shared with me the drama she had gone through in getting time off work so she could attend the excursion with her son. She went on to describe how she was exhausting herself keeping up with work and all the school activities that her children had.
As she was chatting with me about her challenges she started reflecting on when she was growing up. She shared that when she was younger her mum was a stay at home mum and did not attend anything she had on a school and that she managed to get through school and she turned out alright!
It started me thinking about the pressure we put on ourselves to attend everything our children have on. Which of course led me to thinking about the 'mother guilt' a lot of mothers feel today.
Finding a balance as a mother is difficult.
There are a lot of demands on us and we need to chose wisely the activities we attend.
So many mothers have had to take on the role of provider as well as nurturer in their homes.
Many women would love to stay at home but because of their family situation need to work and are sacrificing their time with their children. The guilt and pressure these mothers sometimes feel is challenging and heart wrenching.
In my life I try hard to attend the achievements and school activities that my children are involved in.
But, I cannot attend them all.
With many children, they have different needs and experiences.
I try to choose what will be best for each individual child in what I participate in and what will they appreciate the most.
As I listened to my friend share her challenges I was reminded that often the pressure to do it all, be it all and have it all sometimes does not come from outside of ourselves - it comes from within ourselves. We are the ones who put pressure on ourselves. We are the ones who makes ourselves feel guilty.
We need to give ourselves a break!
Often we are doing a great work and do not stop to look at how far we have come or achieved!
Give yourself a pat on the back - YOU ARE AWESOME!!!