Often I am so focused on helping them that I forget about myself.
When this happens I personally get stuck in a rut. I stop moving forward and I get depressed.
This is because of the way I think. My internal thoughts and beliefs.
I let them stop ME from progressing and from being happy.
It can be as simple as:
you are not good enough
you are not patient enough
you lost your temper again
you can't get the kids to listen to you
you can't meet all the kids needs
you can't hold yourself together
you are not kind
you are not loving
you are being selfish
you are a not strong enough
you are not important
you not worth making time for
These are UNREALISTIC thoughts.
They lead to DEPRESSING feelings of NO SELF WORTH!
We are not expected to be perfect in our mothering.
Just doing the best we can.
For me, when my cherubs were young, I would set ONE goal to achieve each day.
If I could achieve that ONE goal, I knew I would feel great for the whole day.
It was something I could cling to, refer to, and give me a boost during the day.
It helped to improve my SELF talk and in turn the way I talked to my children.
MY SECRET: For my goal I would make it something I KNEW I could achieve.
EXAMPLE: to get dressed, to have breakfast, to have a shower or to clean my teeth.
Crazy, I know! but...you should TRY it - it really works. I would jump up in the air, punch the sky and yell out with great excitement - Woo Hoo! I achieved my goal for the day! I cleaned my teeth!!!
Back then, it was BIG for me. It was what I NEEDED.
Now, I can set bigger goals, harder goals and challenge myself more.
As my children have grown my thoughts have improved and my expectation has lessened.
I can now set a goal to shower, get dressed, brush my teeth, eat breakfast and even do the dishes!
I believe as women and as Mother's we forget to be kind and gentle to ourselves.
We generally save this type of special behaviour for others, feeling that we do not deserve it.
We do deserve it, we are worth it and we NEED to show it to ourselves.
Being gentle is to be considerate, tender and kindly towards ourselves.
As we take life a little more gently, a little more slowly, we will be able to see improvements and be surprised to notice that we are moving forward, we are progressing and we are finding happiness.
Today I hope you can think of something you could do just for YOU and then find the time DO IT!
If you cannot think of anything: gently, lovingly wrap your arms around yourself and remind yourself you are doing an awesome job....because YOU are!
Remember * Kindness Begins With Me
This is also number 14 in my happiness list.