motherhood: to do list and to be list


As a mother I am always writing out to-do lists that are a mile long. I am involved in many different organisations and keeping lists helps me to stay on track. I am constant list maker and love the sense of accomplishment that I feel when I have checked of certain tasks that have been bugging me for days.

So much of my focus each day is on getting through my list as fast as I can and on keeping up with all the to-do's that life brings with a large family. I even find myself saying over and over, I need to do...., I need to do...., and then saying to my children over and over you need to do...., you need to do..... It is a constant part of my day as a mother spending time trying to do.

Recently, I had the chance to listen to an awesome talk by Lynn G. Robbins. He really got me thinking about my to-do lists that I make and how I spend so much of my time doing when really what I want to focus on is becoming.

See below:

"Many of us create to do lists to remind us of things we want to accomplish. But people rarely have to be lists. Why? To do's are activities or events that can be checked off the list when done. To be, however, is never done. You can't earn checkmark's with to be's. I can take my wife out for a lovely evening this Friday, which is a to do. But, being a good husband is not an event; it needs to be part of my nature ~ my character, or who I am."

Wow! As a prolific list maker this really hit me. I spend so much of my time running and rushing around trying to do that I do not stop and think about what I need to be or want to become.

As my full time work and career choice is being a stay at home mum I realise that creating a to-be (or become) list in relation to my area of work is a tough task!

For sure, I try to focus on using more patience, showing more love, speaking kinder and softer and developing better skills in relation to housework and cooking and budgeting, but actually being able to say that I have become or have reached a stage of being a good mother is a hard tick to cross off the to-be checklist.

When I think of my motherhood to do list it involves a variety of activities such as:

read to the children
teach them to pray
help with homework
give them healthy meals
be available for my children
discipline them with love
teach them the value of hard work
provide uplifting family activities
play games and have fun
show affection and give praise
and many more....

My motherhood to be list is very different. I wrote a post about what I think makes a good mother here and since that time have changed a little on what I personally want to be in relation to motherhood.

My motherhood to-be list looks a little like this:

become kind and loving
become joyful
become compassionate
become mindful
become individual
become peaceful
become content
and many more.....

Although my to-do list is very important and makes a big difference in how my family functions and in how my cherubs are raised, the to-be list is what makes a big difference to me personally.

The to-do list helps me to feel better as I accomplish all the tasks I need to do each day but my to-be list relates to how I feel about motherhood in my heart, how I feel about myself and in the end when my children are older and gone with how I am left as a person.

As I reflect over the 10+ years that I have been at home as a stay at home mum, I can see that I have grown and changed and become in small ways more towards the mother I want to be and towards the mother my children need me to be.

The growth has been small and gradual, but it has taken place. I love that my cherubs help me to be and to become better and I look forward to the rest of the journey that is before me.

Are you a to~do list maker??? Do you think about what you want to~be or become in your motherhood journey?? What to you want to become???