As I am taking a little blogging break and am cutting back on my internet time I have a guest post for you from Tahlia over at the Parenting Files about how to make time for your partner:
My husband got a little peeved off at me the other night.
“I’ve hidden your computer. Let’s see if you can go a whole evening without it.”
Now it got me thinking, did he want to see how obsessed or addicted I was with my computer and blogging while trying to test me, or was he trying to find a subtle way to say,
“Darling, I want to have some quality time with you!”
I have to admit, I was not too happy about the computer being confiscated… I felt like I was back in high school for a minute (a real short minute mind you).
We have been viewing the XFactor; one of our shows that we like to watch and follow together.
Confession: lately I have been watching it with my computer on my lap.
But on this occasion, he wanted no computer.
I’m sitting, twiddling my thumbs because this episode was supper boring… I just want to see who gets into the top twelve and this “boot camp” is hardly a boot camp.
“Let’s cuddle”… I just want to jump back onto my little white machine, as lately it has been my down time, my place to unwind. But I cannot help but wonder how wrong I was on this particular evening. I cannot help but feel a little guilty for choosing my little white box over couple time with my husband.
So it got me asking, how and when do we devote our time to our partner?
It’s important. It’s needed.
But sometimes our other demands take over and our ‘couple time’ gets put on the back burner.
And when that couple time does eventuate, don’t those discussions of ‘what shall we do’ seem to just keep on happening? One wants sex, one doesn’t. One wants to watch a movie, one doesn’t. One wants to watch tv, and the other wants to surf the internet and cyber land.
So how do we compromise and make time for each other where we are both happy?
How do we juggle our relationship demands and expectations while also juggling our own?
Here I am previously saying we need to give ourselves permission to enjoy that hot romantic and intimate encounter. I certainly wasn’t doing that on this particular occasion.
I’m tired; I’m exhausted; It’s eleven o’clock already… I need sleep!
You cross my side of the bed tonight and things will not look so good!
So I have realized that it is all about planning! Ok, maybe not everything, but couples need to plan, organize, and schedule their “date nights”, their “computer free” nights, and even those nights of long and indulging romance.
Sometimes we let our life take over, we let the other pressures and commitments take over, and we get comfortable in our daily lives. We all need spice, we all need something different. We all need to give ourselves permission to turn off the switch, take time out and pay a little more attention to our other half.
So I have derived some tips as to how…
* Get imaginative with your date night rendezvous and take it in turns of who is planning.
* Make sure the kids are organized well in advance.
* Turn off the computer for at least one evening during the week. Watching those boring TV shows to keep the other happy is sometimes one of those things we just have to do (but if there is a cuddle involved hopefully it won’t be as boring). But, if it is boring, switch to something a little more exciting and humorous and a little funny. Maybe have some pre-recorded TV shows on the hard-drive (again, note to self). But try not to have an argument over what the next show is going to be.
What are your tips for juggling your couple time and other daily demands?