Monday, September 5, 2011
Cherish your cherubs project: INTERVIEW your cherubs
If you have just discovered my blog or are dropping by after a little time away, every Monday for the next couple of weeks I am running a Cherish your Cherubs Project here on my blog. A project to help us appreciate and adore our children/cherubs a little more and a way to record and remember them in our lives. So far we have done Week 1 - Record and Week 2 - Remember.
Last week I had a delightful time reading moments that mothers shared to remember their cherubs. So many wonderful birth stories that made me cry and helped me appreciate the gift that our cherubs are to us. Your words were so heart felt and it was a pleasure to have a sneak peak into your lives and your hearts.
This week the topic is INTERVIEW and the reason why I wanted to encourage you to interview your cherubs is to take the time to listen to them. To sit down, to give them all your attention (as much as it is possible as a parent and a mother!) and to chat to them, to ask them questions to listen to what there little minds or big minds are thinking on certain topics.
To also try to find out how they are feeling. As a mother some days I get so busy trying to keep my house running that I forget to pay attention to how my children are feeling. I sometimes forget that they have feelings. I know how I always feel but I do not stop enough to see how they are feeling.
I often find it difficult to have a one on one talk with my kids. Whenever I sit down on the couch for a break, this is what happens: they all pile onto me at once. Kind of hard to have a quiet chat and to share a heart to heart with so many others squashing in. Such an attractive picture of me. Haha!
Anyway, here is what happened in our house: I tried my best to sit down and to listen to the kids. A couple of times I had to catch myself speaking out, trying to defend myself and it was so tempting to question and to put down what they had to tell me. I found it hard and I had to bite my tongue and to just listen. Now I need to take it all on board. To look at ways I can make changes and to be better.
Here is what my cherubs had to say:
Liahona - Currently feel happy with her life and loves music at school. She loves playing soccer at school and in the backyard at home. Her favourite activity is watching television and loves all the dancing shows on television. Liahona tells me I am doing a good and bad job as a mother. I am awesome at taking care of the family and all the housekeeping that needs to be done. However, she wants me to spend more time organising more fun activities for the family and to play more games with everyone, (my kids think that life is currently one big game!). She wanted to remind me that our family is more important than blogging, (they think I sit on my computer all day!). Her other request is that I be a little more calmer around the home. I need to spend more time relaxing and less stressing. Final word: I am brilliant and beautiful and magnificent.
Nathan - Life is going well for Nathan overall, having a little trouble at school but overall good. He loves sport at school and industrial design. He loves soccer, basketball and football. Loves playing video games on his ipod touch and his laptop. Nathan tells me when it comes to being a mother I am not doing the best job but I am good. He understands that I am not perfect and he really likes how I help people. He does notice and like that I do nice things, such as keeping the house running, helping the kids through tough times but would like me to spend less time blogging and to be more active in my life. He wants us to go out to the park more and stuff. Final word: You are awesome!
After 2 interviews I already ready for a nervous breakdown!
Harmony - She loves art and learning new things to school. She likes to spend her time listening to music, dancing and reading. For sport she loves basketball, soceer, running and long jump. Her toys make her happy and the trampoline and her family make her happy. Harmony like the other kids loves to watch television and to go on her skateboard in the backyard. She also loves to basketball in the backyard with Nathan. Harmony loves it when it rains and loves to play outside in the rain. Most of all she loves empty boxes so that she can make stuff out of it. As far as motherhood goes she tells me I am doing an awesome job as mother. She did however suggest that I spend a little more time being funnier and playing with her. She also was very specific that she wanted me to spend more time helping others....hmmm.
Liberty - For my interview with Liberty I happened to catch her in a good mood and not a bossy mood and it sure made a difference to what she had to tell me! Life for Liberty right now is good and she is happy. She told me she loves playing soccer in the backyard with MY Liahona or with MY Harmony. She likes to sing songs and to watch movies. With being a mother she told me I am doing a good job. She loves it when I do dancing with her, when I give her some food from the snack cupboard and when I watch something on television with her. When I asked her what I could do better she mentioned that she thinks I could sing better. Haha! I must be bad if she can tell at 3 years of age!!
After 4 interviews I am seeing that I need to spend more time playing and watching television.
Sam - Currently feeling happy with his life. He loves to spend time outside riding his bike and playing basketball on the trampoline. Sam loves to do this with his brothers and when I had my interview with him he was super cute smiling at me the whole time. He tells me he loves it when I hug him and loves me as a mother because I am nice. So I asked him, 'What do I do that is nice?' and his reply was that the nice things that I do are when I cook food and when I buy him stuff. Sam is always asking me to buy him stuff. He also wants me to sit down and to watch television with him and to play more ball games with him in the backyard. He says that I am doing a good job as a mother.
Eli - For my interview with Eli it was very cute and lovely as he snuggled up to me and rubbed my shoulders the whole time we were chatting. I think I need more interviews with this boy! Life is good for Eli and he loves transformers and lego. Loves playing with blocks in our rumpus room and playing outside. He tells me I am doing a good job as mum as I am helping people. He also says I am doing a good job because I always hug him and kiss him, he likes that. He also likes it when I give him have a piggy back ride around the house. When I asked him what he would like me to do more of or do better his reply was: He wants me to let him play my iphone more. Right!
After having 6 interviews I am feeling pretty good but had to pump myself up for the last one. Eeek!
Chelsea - Life is going very well for Chelsea. She is actively involved in many different activities in her life and has some good friends. She loves art, music and netball at school. I was a little worried about what Chelsea was going to tell me as she is a little like me and does not hold back! Eeek! So I tried not to be scared and to calm myself down and was thankful she was kind to me. When it comes to motherhood Chelsea would love it if I could spend more time surprising all the cherubs with treats and fun ideas. She loves is when they come home from school and I have left a note or treat on all of their pillows. Her other suggestion was that I spend more time with the children doing fun activities. This is where I had to bite my tongue as I kind of get sick of being the only one in the family who plans all the fun activities but that is another blog post in itself! She also wanted me to do more craft and art activities with her. Final word: I am an awesome mother.
So after interviewing all of my cherubs it was interesting to see what common suggestions came from them. I now need to sit down and to see if I can realistically fit those things into my life and schedule. I can see that they want me to do some more planning and to get more family activities happening. I also understand that these comments come from a child's perspective and really they have no idea of all the things that I do in my life for them and so often they feel like life is not fair with the things that I ask them to do. I do feel however that I need to start pondering what other family adventures we can have.
I hope that you have been enjoying the last three weeks with spending a little more time focusing on your cherubs and now, it is time to move onto what I would love for you to do for Week 4. Praise.
For the next week I would love for you to spend more time speaking positively to your cherubs. To actively seek out good things that they are doing and to praise them for it. If you are like me this will mean slowing down a little and keeping it in your mind as you go throughout your day. I have done this several times before and been totally delighted at the little positive events that I have been able to find happening around our home.
I know my cherubs do great things all the time but I am often too busy to stop and praise them as much as I should. So often I want to correct, to instruct or to teach instead of just stopping and praising. It has come to my mind a little more lately the importance of praising our children at home as my older cherubs have been attending high school. I feel that they get bombarded by correction from teachers and put downs by friends and peers at school that they need the praise and loving support from family at home. If they do not get it from home, it is easy to see and understand how they feel that the world is against them every where they go.
Praising children does not need to be difficult. All it requires is a few kind comments:
* Wow! you are great at ....
* I love the way you are playing
* Thank you so much for sharing
* That is a brilliant idea
* You are so clever
* When you do ... that makes me feel happy
* I love you
* You are awesome
* That was a really kind thing to do
* You are such a great helper
and my absolute favourite when I cannot find anything positive to say:
* I love the way you are breathing today!
Now for the fun part. Time to link up your Week 3. Interview moments you have to share. This can be a new blog post or an older blog post. Anything that helps us to learn a little more about your cherubs or family. I will leave the link open for the rest of the week incase you want to link up with us here. I hope that if you do decide to link up a post that you will take the time to read and comment on a few others to spread the blog love. If you are just finding out about this project you are most welcome to join in at any time. You do not have to start from week 1.
I am so looking forward to reading what you have to share and to seeing what is in your heart in relation to your cherubs. Thanks so much for joining in.