Friday, June 24, 2011

forgive yourself for happiness


I have been putting off writing this post for a while. It is a topic I feel passionately about: Forgiveness. Forgiveness of others, but especially of ourselves, yourself even.

My thoughts have been tumbling around in my head for years now and I added it to my blog happiness list so then I had to write about it. I feel that it is an area that as women we need to talk about so much more.

I have written before about how I feel we are harsh on ourselves and need to let go of the past.

As women I feel we get so comfortable putting ourselves down, being critical of our efforts and end up internally speaking in a negative way about everything we do. It becomes a new normal for us and we end up seeing no way that we can make a change to start being positive again.

In thinking about forgiving yourself for happiness I want you to think about:

Have you done things you are not proud of?
Do you feel there is no way to solve your problems?
Do you constantly spend time reliving your past mistakes?
Are you carrying around unnecessary burdens you need to let go of?

So often we carry unneccessary heavy burdens.

We lug them around and let the weight of these feelings and thoughts wear us down, discourage us and depress us. We end up feeling worn out, tired from trying to escape these feelings and left with no where to run. Then when we hit rock bottom it finally dawns on us that WE are the ones who need to let go.

As a mother I have made many mistakes.
I have lost my temper, been the kind of mother at times I never believed I would be and could be. 

I have tried my best to fix situations the best I can after those moments. 
I have gone out of my way to say sorry, to restore love to my home and to start again. 

That part was easy, forgiving myself however was much more difficult.

I find it so hard to forgive myself for experiences or feelings that may have happened.

After I while I realise that all this time I have been wandering around waiting for someone else to help me, to relieve me when really it was all left up to me all along.

We are in control of forgiving ourselves.
Letting go of the past can set us free to forgive ourselves.
It is a conscience choice that we make. A gift that we give ourselves.

Why is it possible to forgive others so freely and not to forgive ourselves?
Why cannot we be as kind to ourselves as we are to others?

Surely we are worth this kind of treatment ourselves.
Surely we are not that bad and deserve such harshness and to be denied self love.


I have struggled over the years to give myself permission to forgive...myself.
To give myself the gift of self love and the chance to start again.

I love that every day is a fresh start. A chance to do better, to be better and to become better.
To move forward, to try again and to be happy.

I know that forgiving yourself does bring happiness.
It is possible and so worth the time and effort.

Several times I have had to give myself the gift to fall apart, to weep and to suffer and to feel the pain I have been carrying around, unconsciously trying to protect myself. When this has happened, I have prayed, sought guidance and forgiveness has flowed naturally and smoothly.

I have been able to move forward, to feel light and free.
Thankful in the knowledge that I am here to learn, to grow and to make mistakes.

Mistakes are normal, they are necessary and will happen.
As I lighten up and give myself a break, I feel so much happier.
At peace even. It is worth the time and effort.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

How to be happy * Have a house of order


I love a house of order. It makes me happy.
I love it when everything has a place and my home is free of clutter.

I have written a little bit about this topic here and here.

As a mother I find keeping a house of order difficult.
You see, I am a big believer that a house needs to be lived in as well.

So for me it is all about balance. I work hard at keeping each room clutter free but also give the cherubs freedom to be creative and to play. It is necessary that they scatter toys, that they tip out boxes of toys, that they build, design and draw and explore. In many ways I have had to lighten up in my home cleanliness expectations. I have had to lower my standards in a way.

With seven children, I do still have a clean organised home. I spend time every day de~cluttering. Some times it is only 10 minutes a day and I often will work on a different room every day of the week. I find even taking 10 minutes each day, every day makes a big difference to the state of my home.

Having a house of order invites a better feeling in my home. When everyone knows where things go and what the standard needs to be it makes it simple for everyone to follow, which = happiness for everyone.

One of my favourite poems about having a home with young cherubs is below. Many days when I was exhausted it helped me to calm down and to worry less about what others may think of my home with a bunch of cherubs running around and trashing the place! Enjoy x

Excuse this House
Author: Unknown

Some houses try to hide the fact
That children shelter there
Ours boasts of it quite openly
The signs are everywhere

For smears are on the windows
Little smudges on the doors
I should apologise I guess for 
The toys strewn on the floor

But, I sat down with the children
And we played and laughed and read
And if the doorbell doesn't shine
Their eyes will instead

For when at times I am forced to choose
the one job or the other
I want to be a house wife but 
FIRST I'll be a mother

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

5 ways to be a brave blogger


I first started a blog in December 2008 and have been writing on a blog for several years now. I have now had my Seven Cherubs blog for one and a half years. During this time I have learned a lot about blogging and have become braver in how I write and run my blog. 

Part of having a blog, for me, is being able to express feelings of my heart. As this is a very personal space, many decisions that I make in relation to my blog are an extension of me and affect how other people perceive me. Slowly I have become braver and I have been loving the results. I have become happier and more committed to what I feel strongly about. I am no longer afraid to share what is in my heart.

So here are my 5 tips for being a brave blogger:

1. Make decisions that scare you.
I know I am stepping out of my comfort zone when I make a decision to do or share something where I am worried what people will say or think. Even deciding to blog about happiness ideas scared me. I worried what people would think of me and if I could cope if no-one else was interested. I thought about the benefits that would come to others and myself if I made this decision and decided to be brave and to just go for it! After making the decision and starting I did not feel scared any more. Often we just need to make the decision and charge into it leaving no room for doubt to stop us.

2. Approach people to work with or help you.
There are wonderful social media tools available to help connect with other bloggers and businesses when you have a blog. I often use facebook or twitter to invite companies to run a giveaway or product promotion on my blog. All it takes is a few sentences to invite and the worst that they can say is No. Often if I am stuck with how to do something on my blog, I approach other bloggers who I see as experts and in every circumstance they have found the time to help me. Often all that is required is to be brave enough to ask. We are all in this blogging community together and are happy to offer support to those who need it.

3. Write from your heart.
Having a blog is a wonderful platform to express yourself. Writing from your heart takes courage and inner strength. Readers love it when you share a little of yourself, when you express what is really on your mind and what you are passionate about. Having good content on your blog is what will bring readers and helping your readers connect with you is what makes a good blogger.

4. Believe in yourself.
When I first started a blog I was very scared about what people would think of my thoughts and feelings. It took time and practise to believe that I had something worthwhile to say. So often I hear people say that they could not start a blog because no-one would be interested in what they have to say. We are interested in what you have to say, everyone has something important they want to share and if you believe in yourself and your message, others will too.

5. Be Passionate.
I believe it takes great spirit to be passionate. It takes commitment, courage and determination to speak openly and boldly on a topic you care deeply about. When I see bloggers or anyone in general speaking up about a certain issue they are passionate about, I immediately think they are brave. We need more brave bloggers to take a stand and to be passionate about topics because people will listen, they will make changes and will follow what we say.

I love that here in Australia we have many brave bloggers. Women and Men who blog from the heart, who share what they have learned to help and uplift others, who are passionate and who believe in being better and that what they have to say is worthwhile. I love connecting with these inspiring people and am thankful to call many of them friends.

Monday, June 13, 2011

How to be happy * Have a happy slogan


I think everyone should have a happy slogan.
A saying they yell or shout whenever they feel happy.

My slogan is Woo Hoo!
If you are a regular reader of my blog you will know I say it fairly often.

It is a sign that I am feeling excited, cheerful and happy. It is also a signal to my cherubs that I am in a good mood and believe me - some days they need all the help they can get working out what sort of mood I am in!

I find having a happy slogan reminds me to celebrate and to be happy. Often when I am rushing around trying to get things done, I forget to celebrate small milestones that happen during my day. Having a happy slogan gives me an excuse or permission even, to get excited and to appreciate those wonderful moments I treasure and value.

I even use my happy slogan to motivate me during the day. When I have cleared the laundry of clothes - Woo hoo! When I served up a dinner and everyone ate it - Woo hoo! When I remembered to attend a school event - Woo hoo! Go me!

In our home when something wonderful and great happens we try to stop and celebrate the moment. We normally do this by yelling Woo hoo! and giving High Fives all over the place. As a mother I try to make an effort to include a lot of praise words to help celebrate achievements the cherubs make such as:

That's awesome!
Great work!
Way to go!
No way!
You totally ROCK!
You are so talented!

I love to see the smile on my cherubs face when I make a big deal of the efforts they have put in to reach a goal and for the kind things they do around our house. I even do this with Matt and I know he secretly loves it! In this way a happy slogan spreads happiness and joy through out our family. It is a simple technique but makes a big difference.

So what about you??
Do you have a saying or slogan you celebrate with when you are happy???

Saturday, June 11, 2011

How to be happy * Never Give Up


One of my blog dreams is to help women be happy. By writing out my thoughts and ideas, I hope that I can especially uplift mothers at home. Many days as I have been writing and working on my blog I have felt discouraged. I have even felt that keeping up with this blog has been too hard with seven children and that I am really not making that much difference.

On these days, I have to give myself a serious talking to and remind myself that helping just one person (even if that person is me!), makes it all worth while.

Several times I have seriously thought I should give up.
To let it all go and to just plod along taking care of my family.

I know if I stopped my blog, nothing drastic would happen.
Life would go on for me and for everyone else.

Except now that I have started, my heart is tied to so many others.
I care deeply about them and want to continue to help them in any way that I can.

At time in my life when I really wanted to give up more than I could count, was when I was studying at University. It was a hard slog keeping up with assignments, working to support myself and wondering if what I was doing was worthwhile.

All the hard work and effort seemed to fade away into the background the day I stood on a stage to receive my degree. Even though I was about 6 months pregnant and had to have a spew bag with me because I was throwing up continually, it was a wonderful feeling knowing that I had worked hard to achieve my goal.

I felt great and relieved that I did not give up.

So to help you (and me!) keep going and to never give up here are some great tips I found:

22 reasons to never give up - here.
5 reasons to never give up on your dreams - here.
13 reasons to never give up - here

If that does not help you out then maybe you need to listen to a little:
Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give you Up here.

Even if his song does not put you in a better mood his dance moves will surely make you smile!

To help you smile a little more today I thought I would share with you a couple of happiness lists that some wonderful Seven Cherubs readers sent to me:


Jen from Hospital Healing Hampers:

1. Comedy and the ability to laugh at oneself
2. Respect for each other
3. Camping at Coles Bay (soul food and healing place)
4. Art
5. Knowledge and the wanting to learn and open ones mind
6. Protecting our planet
7. Kids and animals
8. My garden
9. Respecting yourself and staying true to your values
10. Helping others
bonus extra (shoes!)
Amy from MahliMoo:

1. Picking up my eldest son from Kindy and him being so excited to see me that he is jumping out of his skin
2. See the joy that my eldest daughter gets from creating her artwork
3. Watching my youngest son discover a new thing that day. Be it how to clap/hi five his brother or a new taste etc. Can you see a theme here!
4. A bright necklace whilst wearing a dark outfit
5. Driving by the beach everyday to and from most destinations where I live
6. Snuggling on the couch with hubby watching a movie. This rarely happens at the moment but when it does it makes me so happy
7. Silly dancing with my kids. Hubby joins in and we dance around like complete loonies. The kids have a ball and secretly so do we
8. Random cuddles and kisses from my kids for no reason at all
9. Creating something for myself or my kids and learning a new skill. This year I have taught myself how to knit and have made scarves for myself and my daughters. I am currently trying my hand at crochet. My kids love it when they watch me make them new clothes or assessories. They actually asked me to make them certain things.
10. Waking up in the morning and realising that NONE of the kids have woken up over night and that I feel rested!!!


Have you had a time in your life where you have wanted to give up??? 
What motivated you to keep going???


*linking up with Maxabella today*

Thursday, June 9, 2011

How to be happy * Be Yourself


In creating my own happiness list, I am becoming more confident within myself.

I am starting to know what makes me tick, what helps me to feel happy and to disregard what everyone else is doing in favour for what I love to do.

I am learning to trust my instincts and to trust my heart.

I have had times in my life where I have not liked who I am at all.
Where I have looked in the mirror and all I could see was failure and disappointment.

I am my own worst enemy in so many ways.
I am hard on myself and can even be harsh on myself.

My internal dialogue is an area I am constantly working on.
I continually have to remind myself that I am of worth, that I have value and that I am loved.

I have been on a journey of self discovery a lot more intensley lately. 

I have felt the need to be more self accepting of myself and to lighten up a little.
To let things slide and to search deeper into my heart.

As a mother I find there are already so many voices speaking out and demeaning the wonderful role we play. As I watch television or even read other blogs, I find my mind drifting to thoughts that often lead me to feeling depressed. These thoughts don't come from anyone else....they come from me.

I find myself saying:

you really can't love yourself because....

you are not pretty enough.
you are not smart enough.
you are not skinny enough.
you are not talented enough.
you are not popular enough.
you are not contributing enough.
you are not commenting enough. ha!

I start to fight a battle within myself.
A battle to stay positive and trust that I am going in the right direction for me.

Hence my love to write about happiness and the importance of seeking it in your life.
It can be a lonely road to travel when you set out to blaze your own path to happiness.

I am not a professional. I am not a counsellor.
I am a stay at home mother wanting to naturally, daily, feel worthy and valued....within myself.

I am seeking it, I am needing it and I am wanting it.
I know I am here to be me and to accept me.

I want people to take me as I am.
Most importantly, I want to take me as I am.
Being me...the real me...is key to finding my personal happiness.

I do not want to spend my life trying to be someone I am not.
There is a difference in trying to be like someone else and in trying to become better yourself.
I believe in keeping it real, in being who I am at all times.

I am not completely there yet, but I am close.
Most days I need to take my own advice.

I regularly say to my children:
you are unique
you have your own gifts and talents
no-one else is like you
be yourself
you have your own journey to take
do not compare yourself to others
believe in yourself
you have so much to offer
you are special
you are greatly loved
we believe in you

I truly, honestly feel this way towards my children.
The challenge is to feel this way about myself.

Trying new happiness ideas and writing about happiness has taught me so much.
I have discovered that I need to give myself time, to take small steps and to move forward slowly.
When I lighten up in this way I find I am so much happier.

I so appreciate you supporting me in this journey and love your comments.
Thank YOU for taking me as I am and for joining on my happiness discovery journey.

Monday, June 6, 2011

How to be happy * Expect Good Things

 
When I wake up in the morning I expect good things to happen. It hasn't always been this way for me, but it is now. I find the process relates so much to how I think, what positive thoughts I generate during the day and with how much I decide to start my day on a positive note. I know if I wake up in the morning thinking it is going to be a bad day - it always is.

All I seem to see throughout my day are the difficult situations that happen, the little moments where things go wrong and I even find myself saying, 'I told you it was going to be a bad day'....to myself!!

Like I want to prove myself right!

For me it is all in my mind. If I expect that good things will happen during my day then I am more likely to accept them and acknowledge them in my life. It does not mean that bad things will NOT happen, it just means that I will see the good things so much easier.

I will take the time to stop and count my blessings.

Expecting good things to happen is all about:
thinking {positive thoughts}
believing {that good things will happen}
having faith {in life and what it will bring}

So much of happiness for me is connected to my faith and my religious beliefs. It is a source of peace and comfort. The knowledge that I have about why I am here on Earth and where I am going after this life helps me to have faith that good things will come my way.

One of my all time favourite stories about expecting good things is in the clip below. I just love how it reminds me to keep an eye on the future, that things will get better and that blessings will come.



I remember as a young mother thinking on many days that good things were never going to come my way. That I was going to be stuck in the nappy changing, tantrum throwing, toilet training cycle forever. I just could not see any light at the end of the tunnel and my hope was that there were many good things in store for me.

Now that I am out of the nappy changing, toilet training stage {we are still in the tantrum throwing}, I can see so much more clearly the good things that have come my way and are still yet to come.

It is so much easier to feel happier.
It is so much easier to have hope.
It is so much easier to have faith.

It is possible to find happiness during difficult times.
Sometimes we just need to look at a little harder.
To search for blessings amongst the chaos and to change our own hearts.

If we make it a goal each morning to seek for happiness, we may be surprised by what we find. 

We may even astonish ourselves by proving our own thoughts wrong! 
We may even astonish ourselves by what we are capable of doing! 

"If we did all the things we were capable of doing, we would literally astonish ourselves"
Thomas Edison

P.S: I create this image at the top of my blog post with thanks to Shabby blogs, so you could copy, drag, paste and print it out to put somewhere in your home. Stick it on your bathroom mirror, stick it on your fridge, stick it in your journal, place it anywhere you need it to go. I hope it helps you have a great day.

P.P.S: When we are having a bad day, I often put on a song from the movie Despicable Me and the kids and I sing loudly and dance around the house singing 'I'm having a bad, bad day...'. You can check out the song here.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

How to be happy * Wake up happy


Happiness for me is getting a good nights sleep and waking up happy. An important key to my arising happy in the morning is going to bed at night happy with my cherubs and husband. I never get a good nights sleep if I have had a bad conversation with someone in my family the night before. I simply cannot sleep if it is unresolved.

Arising from bed feeling refreshed and ready for what the day brings makes such a difference to how I go about my day. Having something to look forward to during the day - whether it be a hot drink, a favourite television show, an outting with friends, a hug from one of my cherubs gives me something to get out of bed for.

I always get out of bed immediately in the morning and start getting myself ready for my day. I focus on what needs to be done and start looking forward to what adventure the day might bring. I start my day early so that I can stay on top of things with a large family. Some drama always happens in trying to get everyone ready for the day and it is so much easier to deal with it if I am ahead of schedule.

Here are my tips for waking up happy:
1. Go to bed at a reasonable hour (all you twitter ladies - I am talking to you xx)
2. Get things organised the night before
3. Have a clean kitchen to walk into in the morning
4. As soon as you open your eyes focus on something you love (if you have a hubby you are blessed!)
5. Stretch in bed and then smile
6. Believe that something wonderful will happen that day
7. Think about one thing you are looking forward to that day
8. Take a moment to count your blessings or pray

To help me in the morning to wake up I happy I painted my bedroom my favourite colour ~ blue. Every morning when I open my eyes I see a blue wall. It makes me smile and calms my heart as I think about all the things I will need to do that day.


What helps you to wake up happy in the morning???

Friday, June 3, 2011

How to be happy * Start a blog


Since I have started a blog I have found greater happiness in my life.
It has become a big deal to me.

If you are one of my blog readers who does not have a blog (I know you are out there!!!) and has always wanted to start one (I know you secretly want to!!!) but just don't know how to start, then grab a hot drink, settle in and check out my reasons why I think you should start one - today!

Here are my 5 reasons why I would encourage you to start a blog:

1. It is a personal creative space
As a stay at home mother I have found that in many ways my creativity is challenged. I spend most of my days running around chasing cherubs and doing housework. Although very important, a good use of my time and helpful in teaching me many new skills and talents, I felt there was not very much time in my day to use my hands and to be creative.

Cooking a meal, coming up with new family routines or craft activities are creative ways to use your hands, don't get me wrong, but for me, I like to be creative by writing and by collating pictures together to express how I feel. A blog has allowed me to express myself in a this way. It is a wonderful platform to share my thoughts, my favourite images and words. I can work on my blog at my own pace, on my own schedule and take my time to be creative in the way I want.

I love having a pretty place to come to each day if I need it and I love finding new blogs that uplift me, inspire me and are a feast for my eyes. My blog is personal and I am in control of what is shared here, unlike my home where there are little cherubs who have opinions and very outspoken attitudes!

You can also whip up a blog post in a short amount of time and get a quick response from readers to uplift you and motivate you to get through your day. For some awesome tips on how to write a great post in under 30 minutes check out Chantelle's advice here.

2. It allows you to connect with other people
My life has been so touched by the friendships I have made online. Although it is not the same as making friends in person, it has been so uplifiting and encouraging to connect with other women and mothers who are so inspiring. These online relationships have been so wonderful that it has greatly influenced me in how I go about my mothering role and how I manage my home and family.

Having a blog has even given me the wonderful opportunity to meet some of these great friends in real life. I would never have met these awesome women if I did not have a blog. There are many great blog networks and wonderful blog events to attend and I highly recommend you check them out.

As a young mother I wish that I had started a blog to help me. It would have uplifted me so much when I had those days where nothing seemed to go right and I felt that everything I was doing was wrong and that I was alone in my struggles. I could have connected with other women who felt the same and we could have laughed and cried over our cherubs and trials.

3. A blog keeps your mind active.
Even though I have a degree in literary studies, I found that over the years as a mother, my mind started to slow down in relation to keeping up with general topics and my vocabulary started to decrease. I realised one day as I repeated the words 'time out, potty, nappy and wipes' for the fiftieth time that day, that I really did not have too much else to say! I did keep my mind active reading books but it was not the same as having actual conversations and as writing out my thoughts.

Since starting a blog I now use my dictionary and thesaurus so much more, I take time to craft my sentences and have even learnt a new language - html code! I also now do more research on the internet and in a way study the topics I chose to blog about. It has been wonderful for my self esteem and intelligence.

4. It is just for you.
This is my space. Not my husbands (although he does feature here), not my cherubs (although they are trying to take over), it is just mine. I choose what I want to feature and share and I am in control of this one space. Even though my house may feel like it is it out of control, I know I can always come here and know that it is just mine to be as creative as I want. Bliss!

As a mother of a large family, who has very little private personal space, it is so nice to have one place that allows me, to be me, at all times.

5. It is fun.
I have had so much fun since starting a blog. I have met amazing people, worked with great companies, jumped out of my comfort zone in so many ways and laughed and cried with many other bloggers over their posts. I have been truly amazed at the opportunities that have come my way since I have had a blog and even the wonderful products that we have been able to review as a family.

This blog fun has increased my happiness levels and it gives me, as a mother, something to always look forward to. When days get really rough around my home, having a blog motivates me to get out of bed just to see who dropped by my blog, who left a comment and gives me and extra spring in my step for the day.

So now that I have shared my reasons...how are you going??? thinking about starting one yet????

To help you along the way here are some great tips for starting out:
Wikihow: How to start a blog
Kellie - 15 steps to starting a mummy blog
Zoe - 10 things I would tell a new blogger
Jane - Why I love this blogging caper

If you already have a blog you might like:
Annabel 51 steps to launching a hot blog
My 5 reasons to do sponsored posts
Nicole 6 blog time management tips
Melissa Blog Etiquette

I hope that this has given you something to think about and is helpful if you are thinking about starting a blog. It really has been a wonderful adventure for me and I just had to add it to my happiness list. I also thought I would add a linky to the bottom of this post to help those who may be thinking about starting a blog. Add your blog below so that they can have a look around to see some awesome blogs and some different styles. Even leave a comment if you want to - bloggers LOVE comments.

"If you would not be forgotten, 
as soon as you are gone, 
either write things worth reading 
or do things worth writing." 

Benjamin Franklin


Wednesday, June 1, 2011

How to be happy * Let go of the past


I am starting my 30 days of happiness on a serious note.
Sinking my teeth right in and looking straight into my heart on what has been holding me back.

Letting go of the past has set me free.
Releasing chains that were holding me back has given me the freedom to move forward.

To move forward with ease and lightness in my step and heart.
With no anchor to hold me down, no weight crushing my heart, I have been able to soar.

Breaking the bands, taking control and realising it was all up to me has allowed me to let my mind run free, to let my spirit rejoice and to let my heart feel love again. Love for my family and love for myself.

We are not perfect. We all mistakes. We all suffer.

Looking back stopped my progress. It saddened my heart and stunted my growth.
All I could see ahead of me was the mistakes I had made from the past.

Learning from the past has given me wisdom.
It has given me strength and determination to do better, to be better and to be happy.

Looking forward has given me wings to fly, dreams to soar for and wishes to accomplish.

I was not placed here on earth to spend my time looking backwards.
I was placed here on earth to become who I need to be, who I want to be and who I will be.

I want to be free to be me.

I have given myself permission to seek happiness and to enjoy it now, no matter what has happened in the past. The future is bright, it holds light and happiness. I am going to embrace it with open arms and allow it to sink deep into my heart.

Sure, I am going to make more mistakes. We all will and we all do.
I have just decided that I am not going to let that stop me from moving forward.

If you are living in the past, let it go.
It will always be there. It does not need to be replayed in your mind over and over.

If you need to, mourn that time. Shed tears, feel sad about it and then remember it no more.

I do not want my past to determine who I am. I am not a combination of my past mistakes.
I am a combination of the strength and determination I have learned from them.

I am who I will be.
Who I will be is a mother and wife who is happy and loved.

Here are my tips for not looking back:
1. Write out your dreams or wishes for the future
2. Place them in a prominent place around your home
3. To clear your flashback thoughts find a positive song
4. When you start to look back in your mind, sing that song {out loud if necessary}
5. Visualise yourself succeeding and achieving your dreams
6. Have a positive affirmation you say to yourself whenever you start to feel low
7. Repeat it over and over until you believe it.

If you are interested you can check out my thoughts on forgiving others here.
This post in number 18 in my happiness list.