My thoughts have been tumbling around in my head for years now and I added it to my blog happiness list so then I had to write about it. I feel that it is an area that as women we need to talk about so much more.
I have written before about how I feel we are harsh on ourselves and need to let go of the past.
As women I feel we get so comfortable putting ourselves down, being critical of our efforts and end up internally speaking in a negative way about everything we do. It becomes a new normal for us and we end up seeing no way that we can make a change to start being positive again.
In thinking about forgiving yourself for happiness I want you to think about:
Have you done things you are not proud of?
Do you feel there is no way to solve your problems?
Do you constantly spend time reliving your past mistakes?
Are you carrying around unnecessary burdens you need to let go of?
So often we carry unneccessary heavy burdens.
We lug them around and let the weight of these feelings and thoughts wear us down, discourage us and depress us. We end up feeling worn out, tired from trying to escape these feelings and left with no where to run. Then when we hit rock bottom it finally dawns on us that WE are the ones who need to let go.
As a mother I have made many mistakes.
I have lost my temper, been the kind of mother at times I never believed I would be and could be.
I have tried my best to fix situations the best I can after those moments.
I have gone out of my way to say sorry, to restore love to my home and to start again.
That part was easy, forgiving myself however was much more difficult.
I find it so hard to forgive myself for experiences or feelings that may have happened.
After I while I realise that all this time I have been wandering around waiting for someone else to help me, to relieve me when really it was all left up to me all along.
We are in control of forgiving ourselves.
Letting go of the past can set us free to forgive ourselves.
It is a conscience choice that we make. A gift that we give ourselves.
Why is it possible to forgive others so freely and not to forgive ourselves?
Why cannot we be as kind to ourselves as we are to others?
Surely we are worth this kind of treatment ourselves.
Surely we are not that bad and deserve such harshness and to be denied self love.
I have struggled over the years to give myself permission to forgive...myself.
To give myself the gift of self love and the chance to start again.
I love that every day is a fresh start. A chance to do better, to be better and to become better.
To move forward, to try again and to be happy.
I know that forgiving yourself does bring happiness.
It is possible and so worth the time and effort.
Several times I have had to give myself the gift to fall apart, to weep and to suffer and to feel the pain I have been carrying around, unconsciously trying to protect myself. When this has happened, I have prayed, sought guidance and forgiveness has flowed naturally and smoothly.
I have been able to move forward, to feel light and free.
Thankful in the knowledge that I am here to learn, to grow and to make mistakes.
Mistakes are normal, they are necessary and will happen.
As I lighten up and give myself a break, I feel so much happier.
At peace even. It is worth the time and effort.