So often as women I find we talk down the good things that we do.
We do not celebrate or embrace enough the good achievements that we make in our daily lives.
It is like it is not allowed. That it is wrong that we speak positively of our achievements in our home or to others. It drives me crazy that it is seen as bragging and boasting of our achievments instead of embracing and empowering ourselves for what we have done. I dislike that in trying to share some of these moments that women often can come away feeling ashamed and made to feel embarassed for speaking up and believing in themselves.
I believe we can and should celebrate our strengths and positive {motherhood} moments we have in life. Some of these moments are tough to get through and the only praise we receive from getting through them comes from ourselves.
There is nothing wrong with saying, 'You know what, I did an awesome job of getting everyone ready for school this morning' or 'Wow! I actually handled that situation really well. I cannot believe I did not lose my temper!'.
Personally, I had a really difficult situation with one of my daughters last week. It was a horrible time. At the end of the experience I was amazed just how calm I stayed through the whole process. Sure I got a little fired up, sure I felt I was going to explode but when it came time to talking to my daughter I was calm, cool and collected! I gave myself a pat on the back and allowed myself to feel happy with how I handled the situation.
To embrace this problem and encourage a little celebrating of the good that we do I wanted to see if you could share with me some of your great moments you have had lately. It can be at home, at work or in any situation in life. Let's celebrate today how awesome we are and start today off feeling good about ourselves.
I feel proud that I stood up for myself THREE (count them!) times last week. Normally Im one of those people that just bites my tongue and lets people walk all over me, but I'm trying to make a concious effort to be stronger in character. I didnt like having to argue my point when standing up for myself, but feel a sense of pride that I did.
ReplyDeleteGo you Simone. It is a great feeling isn't it? Keep up the great work! N x
DeleteI think there is a difference between being proud of yourself and bragging.
ReplyDeleteI love to celebrate in the achievements of my friends whether it is getting the kids off to school with no fights and nothing forgotten or a Nobel Peace Prize.
What I will not celebrate is when someone does something for someone else purely for the kudos.
All that said, I KNOW how difficult it is to keep cool calm and collected in a difficult situation and for that you should be proud. xx
Awesome thoughts Kelley. It is a huge effort getting the cherubs off to school most mornings and love that you support your friends in such a way. N x
DeleteOne of the other adult members of our household and I recently decided it would be fun to start a random star chart... not for anything particular but just for when one of our family does something and we want to celebrate it. My hubby groaned, but we're dragging him along. We've given each other 'stars' for things like getting kids to bed ontime, doing exercise, getting through chores, drinking heaps of water etc. nothing HUGE but just some fun encouragement!
ReplyDeleteThe thing I want to celerbate most is getting my 2 little ones (10months, 3years) to go to sleep in the same room. We started a few weeks back, and whilst it doesn't always work they're getting SO much better!
Love the star chart idea Hayley. Great way to celebrate achievements together as a family. We found it a challenge to get our cherubs to sleep in the same room when we first started out as well. Soon they will not be able to sleep without each other and that is another whole issue! N x
DeleteBeing proud of yourself and expressing that isn't bragging in my book. I don't often feel that need for a pat on the back, I mostly think being proud of myself is enough. Sharing the little victories doesnt necessarily make them any sweeter, they are still marvelous.
ReplyDeleteIn any case, I think the blogging world is all about celebrating and embracing and all the other ings. And women have always been wonderful sharers together. I don't think women / mothers are quite as voiceless as the media seem to want us to feel. Don't you think? x
Great thoughts Bron. We do have a voice and I love that more women are using it. I think the media knows we have a voice and are starting to listen more and more. N x
DeleteWhere were all these blogs to help me when I was raising my kids. I lost my temper many a time with my son, who from the time he was 14 until he went to college. He changed after that and must have realized that Mom wasn't so bad after all and maybe she knew something. I sometime regret losing my temper but I try not to beat myself up over it. He turned out and is a wonderful husband and father. We are so proud of him, there were many times when he was growing up I wondered what he would be like when he grew up. I think that 14 to 18 are hard years for the parents and children.
ReplyDeleteI think we all have moments like that Claudia. We all have moments where we lose our temper and worry afterwards. Love that he is now a wonderful father and that you have a good relationship. Makes it all worthwhile. N x
DeleteSo true I think we should all give ourselves a daily pat on the back :)
ReplyDeleteIf you are lucky enough to live each day without needing to give yourself one you are very blessed but I agree, nothing wrong with giving ourselves a pat on the back once in a while. N x
DeleteI have 2 adult children that have nothing to do with me, due to divorce and 3 other adult children that live at home with me. My family are dysfunctional because of this, with the 2 eldest children, not having contact with the 3 youngest. It's a sad situation. I say this purely because I know how easy it is to feel like you are worthless in this situation as a mother and as a woman. I have often beat myself up over what has happened, even though my children's father chose to leave. You question if you are good enough, if you are a good person, and I find this is especially true when you are a member of such a family oriented church. I've come to realise that I don't have to be perfect, that I don't have to be everything to everyone, that I am doing my best. I try really hard not to run myself down and think that I am not worthy. I think we have to make sure that we have good self-talk .... when those negative thoughts come in, just push them out with good and positive self-talk. Thank you for your post Naomi .... it's nice to be reminded of these things from time to time. To prompt us to learn to love who we are.
ReplyDeleteLotti,
DeleteI have been in a similar situation where my husband walked out and I was left to raise our children alone. It was really hard not to feel like I was failing them daily because I have always wanted the ideal family situation for them. I know my kids deserve the best...but I decided to blog to keep a regular record of what was happening with us (including pictures) and it always made me feel so good to look back at what was happening in our family and what we did- I started to feel successful and proud of myself for the good job I was doing. Like you said, as long as you are trying your best, that is what matters.
Naomi, thank you for posting this. I love "BElieve in YOUrself" (be you) and think I will hang that on my wall somewhere. What a great reminder not only for us as mothers, but for our children who face such peer pressure.
Thank you for sharing ladies. Life often does not turn out how we planned and I love that you are both in a good place right now. Your words have really touched me and appreciate you sharing them. N xx
DeleteWhen my kids are mad or upset about WHATEVER in the world that's bothering them (me, at times), and I'm nearby, I go up to them, really close, and say, "[child's name], WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T SMILE. DON'T. YOU. DARE. SMILE." Of course, they ALWAYS smile, those rebellious stinkers, and they love the reaction I give them. Appalled, shocked, that they would disobey me:). It works every time.
ReplyDeleteSomehow, this diffuses all the anger and we're back to being hunky-dory again. Times like those are small victories that make a big difference in our home. And for my psyche:).
Love your plan for keeping the kids happy and making them smile. Humour plays a huge role in relation to survival in our home. N x
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