Writing about self esteem for women is a delicate topic. It brings up all sorts of emotions. Some women like to focus on learning about it to try improve and some just want to ignore it so they do not need to face how they are really feeling. I am one of those women who like to face how they are really feeling and want to try to do something about it. Kind of annoying I know for some people, but that is how I am.
I try to be a realist in my life as much as I can. I am good at seeing a situation as it really is and can often be heard saying, 'The reality of the situation is....'. However, I was not always that way and have spent way too many years of not being a realist when it comes to myself. I have spent many a day feeling miserable because I did not look a certain way, did not have the latest clothes or the latest car and did not have what it seemed a lot of other women had.
I am generally fine now and rarely get upset because I don't have something but there was a time years ago where this type of unrealistic thinking adding to my low self esteem. My own unrealistic thinking added to the picture I had of myself and what I thought I should look and be like. So from personal experience I have decided that the last tip has to be:
Day 5. Be realistic about yourself
I hear and know of many women who dislike the way they look or who they are...A LOT! They point out negative aspect of themselves constantly and hope that by pointing it out themselves that no one else will bring it up as they have already addressed it and pointed it out. I know I have done that before...why do we do this to ourselves?
For me, I find there is no use comparing myself to others as I have had seven children. Having children changes you and your body. I am seriously not going to look like a woman who has had one child or even three children ever! It is unrealistic of me to think that I will look like I did before children. Yes, having seven children in nine years kind of changes your stomach in ways I never thought possible! If I worked hard I could probably get close but my body is just not the same. There is no use beating myself up about it either. I am not saying we should give up on taking care of ourselves and I really do like to exercise and to keep healthy as much as I can but I also have come to accept that this is what I look like and I accept that.
Some days I think we forget that all of us are unique. We are created differently. We are all different and have a variety of gifts and talents. We think, love and follow our heart differently. We all have a variety of ways we like to parent and mother our children. None of these ways are wrong, they are just different.
For me I have a large family. I parent very differently than a mother who has a smaller family. It is just the way it is. I don't compare myself to others, I don't expect them to do the same as I do and if I tried to be like them I am sure my family would suffer.
To have a healthy self esteem I say embrace yourself. Love who you are. Be realistic of what your situation is and just love yourself regardless. We all make mistakes, we all fail in areas of our lives and we all have things about ourselves that we do not like. So often we just focus on what we don't like and forget that are special. We really are worth loving, we are brilliant, we are awesome and we need to find things about us that we do like. If we can find and see good about ourselves, our self esteem will improve greatly and we will feel so much happier about life.