Monday, April 23, 2012

a home of happy chaos


I have just finished reading the book 'Happy Chaos' by Soleil Moon Frye. You may remember her from the 80's show Punky Brewster. The book is a nice read about life growing up as a child star mixed with stories of raising her two girls. She shares her personal experiences mixed with questions and advice from her readers on her website

According to Soleil, 'Happy Chaos' is the sign of a family that is operating at it's best - when parents accept that they will make mistakes and will experience messes, tears and skinned knees. This got me thinking about our home and the happy chaos we have here.

Before I became a mother I spent time observing other families. I saw many large families who ran a very strict home and other large families who seemed to function in total chaos with no order. My goal going into motherhood was to strike a balance between the two. I wanted a house of order but a house that was set up for happiness and fun as well. As I read through Soleil's book I felt that we have achieved our goal of having a home of happy chaos and order. 

It has not been easy to arrive at this point. It has taken a lot of work and consistency in teaching our children that there is a time to work and a time to play. Of course we love those moments when working together becomes fun and joyful and feels like play but life is not like that every day.

For me Happy Chaos means a home with freedom to make, create, learn and explore life. It is a home environment where it is good to ask questions, to be able to share opinions and ideas, to be respected and listened to. A place to share emotions - happiness, sadness, anger and joy. There are opportunities to play games, dance, draw and build. Where appropriate affection is shown, where kindness is practised and where making memories is encouraged. 

Our home is not perfect, our family is not perfect but our home is a place we want to come home to and our family is a family we want to be with. That to me is real happiness.

What does a home of 'happy chaos' mean to you?