Monday, April 23, 2012

a home of happy chaos

I have just finished reading the book 'Happy Chaos' by Soleil Moon Frye. You may remember her from the 80's show Punky Brewster. The book is a nice read about life growing up as a child star mixed with stories of raising her two girls. She shares her personal experiences mixed with questions and advice from her readers on her website

According to Soleil, 'Happy Chaos' is the sign of a family that is operating at it's best - when parents accept that they will make mistakes and will experience messes, tears and skinned knees. This got me thinking about our home and the happy chaos we have here.

Before I became a mother I spent time observing other families. I saw many large families who ran a very strict home and other large families who seemed to function in total chaos with no order. My goal going into motherhood was to strike a balance between the two. I wanted a house of order but a house that was set up for happiness and fun as well. As I read through Soleil's book I felt that we have achieved our goal of having a home of happy chaos and order. 

It has not been easy to arrive at this point. It has taken a lot of work and consistency in teaching our children that there is a time to work and a time to play. Of course we love those moments when working together becomes fun and joyful and feels like play but life is not like that every day.

For me Happy Chaos means a home with freedom to make, create, learn and explore life. It is a home environment where it is good to ask questions, to be able to share opinions and ideas, to be respected and listened to. A place to share emotions - happiness, sadness, anger and joy. There are opportunities to play games, dance, draw and build. Where appropriate affection is shown, where kindness is practised and where making memories is encouraged. 

Our home is not perfect, our family is not perfect but our home is a place we want to come home to and our family is a family we want to be with. That to me is real happiness.

What does a home of 'happy chaos' mean to you?


  1. I think your last paragraph sums up "happy chaos" perfectly. Despite the chaos here, it's a safe haven, a refuge from the outside world, where we come together and share our experiences of each day.
    P.s. Punky Brewster - what a blast from the past! My sister loved her and even dressed like her :)

  2. Oh I agree, your last paragraph sums up what happy chaos is to me. It's about finding that balance between order and fun to make sure the wheels keep turning.

  3. "Our home is not perfect, our family is not perfect but our home is a place we want to come home to and our family is a family we want to be with. That to me is real happiness."
    Perfect. You should make that a printable!

  4. I like the sound of Soleil's book , I loved Punky Brewster too.
    Happy chaos describes our home too for the most part. I still need to find a better balance with work.

  5. Oh, any day that there are playclothes on the floor, sugar and flour spilled on the counter and car trucks on the stairs, I know it's been a good day.

  6. Great post! Along with your perfect description, I agree with Cathy above. I want our happy chaos to include being able to just be us, to always feel loved and accepted, and to be a refuge from the world.


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