moving through depression to face the music

Lately, I have been pondering how I handle difficult situations that come my way in life. I have been thinking if I am the type of person who avoids situations or if I am the type of person who is happy to take a stand and face the music.

As some one who has had moments of depression in my life, avoiding situations and confrontations has been what I thought was a good decision in the past but in reality it turned against me to make my depression worse.

By avoiding problems in life I felt that they would some how disappear, that I could brush them under the carpet and by saying nothing that it would fizzle out and die down.

In reality there really is no other way to deal with problems in life than by facing the music. Very few problems in life go away on their own. Some of them do die down but generally they rise again.

Now I know there is a difference between waiting to deal with a situation until you feel stronger and trying to avoid it altogether. My regular plan when I was younger was to try to avoid it altogether.

Often the situations I faced left me feeling depressed. What I did not realise was that they left me stuck feeling depressed by doing nothing about it. By being willing to face situations and problems we can move through the feelings of depression. We deal with them and move on, hopefully feeling better and having learned lessons that will help us the next time a difficult situation comes our way.

Let me give you an example of what I am talking about.

As a youth growing up I had an experience that hurt me deeply. I cried, I struggled and I felt very depressed about it. I decided that the best way to deal with it was to push my feelings aside. To store them for another time to deal with.

I felt I was doing myself a favour. Protecting myself I guess.

Little did I know that the hurt and depression stayed with me.

It festered within me and slowly grew stronger and stronger.

Then the day came where I felt consumed by it.

I felt numb to everything around me. 

I was anxious and tired of this weight in my heart.

I decided to face the music.

I spoke about it, shared how I felt and I let my feelings out.

It hurt. It hurt like hell to let those feelings out.

It was overwhelming at times and it was an intense experience.

But I worked my way through it.

I was able to talk my way, feel my way and cry my way through those emotions.

After a short time I felt lighter, I felt free and I felt relieved of that heavy weight.

I felt wiser, smarter and more in tune with myself. I would even go so far as to say I felt strong. I knew I had learned a valuable lesson and I felt that no matter what came my way, I would be able to face it.

I knew I now had some skills and practise on how to face the music, to stand strong and to deal with life. I still have moments where difficult situations make me feel depressed but I know I have the faith and determination to work my way through them.