Having a blog can be very rewarding but also very discouraging. Every day when I start to write a blog post or think about writing a blog post, there is a moment where I stop to think about what reaction people will have to what I write. Most days I really don't care what people think. I don't write on my blog to try to impress people or to try to come across as some amazing woman or mother. I write the feelings of my heart and I love to keep it real. I am far from ideal of what a mother should be like and I like it that way. I am a work in progress and I love to share that. However, there are some days where I just don't feel that I can deal with the unkind comments and the judging that happens on blogs. Readers seem to forget some days that there are people behind blogs. The people writing them have feelings and that a blog is often a small snapshot of your life. On days when I feel this way I don't post on my blog. I get on with my life and enjoy the love of my family. I am blessed that I can do so. The longer I have a blog the more I see this judging and unkind commenting happening. To encourage myself to keep writing I have decorated my laptop {see above}. To simply remind myself that life is amazing and that it is up to me to determine what happiness I find that day. I am getting better at letting those unkind comments not affect me, at moving on and of letting them slide so that I can continue to share the feelings of my heart. In some ways I am not pleased that I am becoming hardened in that way and that having a blog requires you to do so. I am slowly feeling the need to spend more and more time with my family as having a blog becomes more competitive here in Australia. I find myself wanting to retreat more and more, to write less often and to disconnect altogether. I am just not cut out to be thick skinned or to be competitive. In pondering over this I have come to a lovely realisation. Most of my blog readers are actually not bloggers, they are Mum's at home with cherubs. Most of the people who comment on my blog are bloggers and I really appreciate the time they take to drop by and the lovely comments they make but most of the sweet private messages and emails I receive are from Mum's at home who have no idea of how to even leave a blog comment. For those Mum's at home with cherubs who are wearing them out and who are bringing them joy each day {and for myself}, is the reason I push myself through those unkind moments and keep writing. Today is one of those days where I looked at my laptop and told myself that as a blogger, today will be amazing.
Beautiful post x
ReplyDeleteThanks Naiomi! I appreciate this today xIM2
ReplyDeleteA beautiful post, good to know that I am not alone in thinking like that about blogging, and I have only been doing it for a couple of months! Keep smiling and please don't stop blogging! Yours is one I follow religiously, and would certainly miss if you disappeared.
ReplyDeleteChrissie xx
Today will definitely be AMAZING!
ReplyDeleteAs always Naomi, you speaka-my-language. Competitive and unkind indeed! I've watched some of my best bloggy buddies get shot down in ridiculous, petty tirades of comments lately and it hurts to watch that happen. Trolls suck. Hope some can find reassurance in your wisdom-filled insight here today. I know you've struck a cord with me my dear xx
Naomi,
ReplyDeleteI was going to send you a PM but I'm posting it here instead, so your readers can see it & simply confirm what they already KNOW about you, that you're the REAL DEAL! Sorry for length but you know I struggle with writing/talking too much lol x
Hi beautyFULL,
Just read your post and wanted to you to KNOW THIS:
Since starting a blog, there have been many many painful times.
Not as a direct result of 'writing a blog', more a case of having a blog and as such, a profile, has added to the pain.
Why?
Because when you put yourself 'out there', opening up your heart and soul by sharing your life, you take a risk. The risk of being judged. And we both know it happens because we experience it. And judgement hurts. I believe anyone who says it doesn't, is either lying (and only to themselves) OR they genuinely don't feel the hurt that comes with judgement because they have 'numbed' their emotions as a protective mechanism. Sadly, what these people don't realise, is that you can't just numb your ability to FEEL hurt. You numb all of your feelings :(
For reasons you & I will never understand, some people seem to operate from a place of negativity, nastiness etc
It is also a sad but true fact, {one that you & I are on the same page on} that for many people, comparison & competition comes before collaboration & celebration, especially when it comes to women, business and motherhood (I talk more about this in my post).
Anyhoo, what I am getting at sweets is that you KNOW I am a MASSIVE fan of yours and without blogging, I would not have had the pleasure to walk this motherhood, blogging, painful, joyful journey with you AND meet YOU & your family IRL!
It is BECAUSE of the latter, I feel I can send you this message, because I know you BEHIND the screen and whilst I am not suggesting for one second I KNOW you in the way your close friends etc do, what I do know, is you heart for women and mothers and your PASSION for writing, not to mention GIFT & TALENT for it.
I guess what I am trying to say is this; It's not WHAT we do, it's WHY we do it! Your WHY is the reason you come back and bang out your feelings on the keyboard after a negative experience and the reason WHY you wrapped up your post by stating that VERY FACT.
For me personally, I have always struggled with the negative side that comes with being online and putting yourself out there. In fact, I came very close to quitting recently until I realised, I'd rather be JUDGED than be ignored. And when I realised this, I climbed a tree and filmed a video telling the world lol. Because if I am ignored, I can't help others and I can't be a PART OF THE CHANGE that motherhood needs!
And the same goes for you. You have an amazing voice and you are sharing it for other mothers, not brands, bloggers, stats etc HOWEVER, it's also ok to remember that these things have a place in the life of your blog because they help you spread your message further. It only becomes a problem when you 'play the game' for the wrong reasons.
So, i've written a novel to you but I wanted you to know I think you're amazing, keep writing and KEEP REMEMBERING your WHY!
Oh and the only thing I do want to question from your post is this;
WHAT IS THE IDEAL MOTHER? and WHY DO YOU THINK YOU'RE FAR FROM IT?
The only thing you need to be FAR from is the notion that that such a thing as the ideal mother even exists!
WE ARE ALL THE IDEAL MOTHERS FOR OUR CHILDREN and geez woman, you're ideal 7 TIMES OVER!!!!!!
Love ya x
What Stace said says it all x
DeleteThis was a great response to read :o) and I hope you find the much-intended encouragement from it, Naomi... I once had a blog, but gave it away, cos I just didn't think I had the 'why' going on... and then I had my third child, and lost all motivation... :o/ ... Sometimes I regret that because it is a wonderful way to keep record an share with friends... but, I felt at times I left myself open too much, and even though I had lovely girls responding and being friendly to me in the blog world, I found myself thinking I have nothing to offer and am 'exposing' my inner thoughts for what?!!! (Very negative...!) ... So funny to discover your blog then, because you've got me thinking that I actually could... do... have things to offer; and I love what Stace said to you about how she'd rather be judged than ignored... We need to use our 'voice', we need to show each other we care and can offer support and insight, and likewise we need to receive that ourselves... I personally, would love to do that in a face-to-face way with women in a group, but at this stage in my life, I just don't seem to have the 'oomph!' required... and that's where I see that blogging is helpful, as woman like me can 'pen' their thoughts etc and 'build a community'... As for the naysayers - they'll always be there, lurking, getting their thoughts out for whatever reasons they may have, and really, it's just a matter of not giving them any credit, I think... Credit goes to you, Naomi, and all the women like you who do take the time out of your busy days to add to other women's lives in a positive way... God bless you! Naomi G.
DeleteI think you're amazing and I love your blog. I love that you're honest and admit that you sometimes feel discouraged but work through it. Blogging is a strange little hobby - it's totally addictive but it can also totally mess with your head.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you just need to close that lap top, read that message to yourself and go and play with your beautiful family. xx
Naomi, you are such a beautiful person. You really are. That shines through in everything you write. I completely understand where you are coming from. I am not thick-skinned either, and at times I've felt the desire to withdraw from blogging. In the end, I think it's your honesty and your beautiful spirit that brings readers to you.
ReplyDeleteI want to say just ignore the rest, but I know that's easy to say and difficult to pull off. Maybe just focus on those of us who see your beauty.
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ReplyDeleteWhat they said. We need to support each other on this journey to raising beautiful adults. There is no need to judge a mother showing honest thoughts and feelings.
ReplyDeleteI'm a blogger so I'll be commenting on this ;) Anyway, you ARE the REAL DEAL and besides me, I'm sure everyone else knows that too. Keep writing Naomi, and keep inspiring us. xx
ReplyDeleteNaomi,
ReplyDeleteWhat makes me the maddest is to see the TROLLS having an effect on someone as GORGEOUS as you.TROLL is such a perfect word for the ugly cowards who sit behind the anonymity of a computer screen and spread their bile. They are ignorant, simple people who quite clearly have extremely low self esteem and are doing their best to halt human evolution. We don't evolve by spreading hate. We evolve by supporting each other, making each other the best we can be, so every generation is BETTER than the one before.
For the trolls reading this and thinking about commenting, think before you spread your ignorance- you're not being smart- all you're doing is putting your ignorance on display.
Naomi- the trolls only leave comments because they are jealous of you, and can never be as amazing as you! Keep up the amazing work. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Well said, from a fellow Mum and non blogger, who loves your work and realness and appreciates it!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post - I rarely comment but read all your posts :) From a mum at home with two little bubs wearing her out
ReplyDeleteWhen I read this blog post, I couldn't help thinking, why on earth would anybody write an unkind or negative comment to someone after reading their blog. I think blogs should be uplifting, at least that's how I see them. I love reading your blog and just don't understand why anyone would make a comment that was negative. When we share our blogs, we share a part of ourselves and say what we feel, just because we do and because we want to ..... rather than so that we can be judged. Keep writing Naomi, I for one will keep on reading.
ReplyDeleteNaomi, This is a wonderful post. It is because of bloggers like yourself that I have found the courage to start my own blog and share a part of my life.
ReplyDeleteI have found it extreamly hard at times, and yet I have never expeirenced negitivity. I have not seen the negitivity that is often directed towards some bloggers, because to be honest, I dont tend to read comments. I will leave a comment if I feel inclinced to, but I dont read other comments.
I dont know why that is. But maybe it is my way of protecting myself.
I love reading your posts as they are so real and well written that I feel as though I am apart of your life.
Lisa.
I find the negative comments so hard to accept and don't think we need to accept them just because we have a blog - which is what 2 people commented to me recently. I just run my own race and don't really pay attention to what other bloggers are doing. It's the best advice I can give because you have more confidence in yourself and more time for the things you want to do!
ReplyDeleteNaomi, they're anonymous for a reason, because they're cowards, and would never say those things to your face. Keep the "real' coming! x
ReplyDeleteKeep on blogging Naomi. I love the way you write, straight from the heart.
ReplyDeleteSusan
I love your blog, Naomi. Don't ever let anyone bring down your sunshine. Your blog is positive, interesting and a great read. I'm sick of reading negative blogs with swearing, smut, belittling others etc. There is no need for it.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the great work x
Great blog post Naomi!
ReplyDeleteSo far I have not encountered too much of the negative comments side of blogging and each day I am thankful for that.
Like many bloggers, my blog is a reflection of my life, I don't write every little bit down but when I do write it's honest and that's why people can relate.
To then have someone completely slam the writing etc would be absolutely devastating to me.
We're not just a computer screen, we're real people with thoughts and feelings and the whole troll thing is so immature and pathetic.
I really feel for all the bloggers out there that have copped it lately. I know my time will come, but in the mean time, you just keep doing what you're doing because you really strike a chord with me and so many other appreciative readers.
Luv Jac xoxox
I have loved everyone of your posts. I love your blog. You are an inspiring woman, mother and friend. I dont understand why people have been negative towards you. Thank you for your blog!!!
ReplyDeleteHave an AWESOME day. xoxox Meredith
Hi Naomi, As a stay-at-home Mum with 2 little cherubs, I don't get much time to write posts for my blog, or read a lot of other blogs, but when I do find a little time I love reading your posts. I always find your posts to be inspirational and empowering. Thanks for your blog :)
ReplyDeleteI think you are amazing. You write so genuinely.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel. I just blog about my life with my family. I really don't care about anything else. But every now & again, I have a slight panic about someone taking me the wrong way.
I love your blog. It is so real & positive.
Niki
Beautiful post!! I agree with everyone else. I just wanted to drop in and let you know how amazing you are and how much I love reading your blog. I'm a SAHM with 4 little ones 5 and under, and like Julie said, I don't get much time for my blog either or to check out others, but I do try to check out yours when I can :) xox
ReplyDeleteI love this post. But I agree with you about the discouraging and the negativity that goes around. I do not like all of this mean spiritedness.
ReplyDeleteI love how open and sharing you are on your blog. I'm kind of scared to be that way, maybe because some of the people who read my blog are people I know, but don't want them to know so many personal things about me, iykwim? I found out my mother in law reads my blog, and she's about the most judgemental person I know, so that's why I hold back. Often you say things that make me nod my head while reading.
ReplyDeletehello Naomi .... its hard for me to fathom why anyone would leave a mean comment ... I mean really just click the mouse and move on :) lets share the joy eh! like you I have questioned the value of blogging now that it can seem so contrived ... but I always come back to it as I think I am my own biggest fan :) I love to go back and read my old posts about the boys - its a treat :) many hugs to you le xox
ReplyDeleteReally...? What ever happened to "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"...I have looked at your blog for all of five minutes and all I can say is...I will be back and I think you are amazing to manage seven children AND a blog. Keep it up! :)
ReplyDeleteAwesome, awesome post!
ReplyDeletexo