Heartfelt Running

One more sleep and I will be hitting the road to reach a goal I have had for a long time. I will be running my first 10K, in public no less, which is something I never thought I would do. I am amazed that I am doing this after I have finished having all of my children and my body is in a far worse state than when I was younger. I am amazed that I can even run 10K at all!

It has been a difficult mental journey to get to this stage but I am here. I am not in this race to win, I am in this race to better myself. I am not running to be skinny, I am running to be strong. I need more strength in my life and running is helping me achieve that. One more restless sleep and it will happen. I am going to take it on and give it a go. 

I can't begin to tell you how many times I have started trying to achieve this goal and failed to make it. This is the longest I have ever tried running for. When I first started on my running journey I was really scared about putting myself out there and not being able to do it. I am so not a runner and was really scared about failing.

Now I am no longer scared about failing. I know I can do it. I have now done it several times before and I know I can do it again. I may not look like a runner and may not look fit compared to many other people hitting the road in the morning but I do have a determined attitude and a great motivator to keep me running. I am not a normal runner, I am a Heartfelt runner.

As a Heartfelt runner I will be running for cherubs and angels and thinking of all of those Mum's who have lost sweet cherubs. Running for me is painful. Exercise and pain do not mix well for me. I am too weak. I stop when it starts to hurt and I give up. In thinking about this I keep coming back to the fact that it is nothing compared to what many women face when they lose a baby. You have no choice when it comes to facing pain when you lose a cherub. You have to face it, you have to immerse yourself in it and you have to live through it to move on. So I am going to take the pain and push myself through it to the end of the 10K. I will know that what I am feeling is nothing compared to what many other women are facing right now and living with on a daily basis.

Here is how my 10K is going to pan out in my mind:

1st Kilometre {K} > For Chelsea

2nd K > For Nathan

3rd K > For Liahona

4th K > For Harmony

5th K > For Eli

6th K > For Sam

7th K > For Liberty

8th K > For Avery {Kristie's cherub and whose story changed my heart}

9th K > For All the Heartfelt Mums I know and those on my Seven Cherubs facebook page

10th K > Trish who has lost a cherub, who has been training like me and who has inspired me so much lately.

I really appreciate all the encouraging words and support you have given me. It has made the world of difference to helping me get this far. So now I am drinking lots of water, laying around resting and preparing myself for a restless sleep. Woo Hoo! Bring on that 10k run! Did I just say that???!!!

As a reminder:

{Heartfelt is a volunteer organisation of professional photographers from all over Australia dedicated to giving the gift of photographic memories to families that have experienced stillbirths, premature and ill infants and children in the Neonatal Intensive Care Units of their local hospitals, as well as children with serious and terminal illnesses. Heartfelt is dedicated to providing this gift to families in a caring, compassionate manner. All services are provided free of charge.}