Being a stay at home mother is my chosen career choice. I decided this is what I wanted to do many years ago and this year I have been at home for 13 years. Some people struggle to understand this choice I have made and how I can feel content in my life with this role.
Quite simply, the reason I feel content is because I don't need the validation of others to know it is the right choice for me. As I raise my children I follow my instincts and I follow my heart. I don't need the approval of other's to tell me I am doing a good job and that I should be doing more with my life.
I love being a mother and am thankful I have the opportunity to do so. Being a mother to me is a worthwhile pursuit of my time. Sure, I could join the workforce and have a career in any other industry that I chose and still be a mother...But for me, being a stay at home satisfies me.
I enjoy being at home and available for my children and I find it still allows me to use my talents I have developed over the years and I am still learning new skills as I parent my children.
I know when I speak to other people and share that I am a stay at home mum, they often dismiss me. I see their eyes kind of glaze over and they want to move on to the next person to have a real conversation. What they don't stop to find out is that....yes, I do have a university degree, yes, I have traveled and explored this wonderful world we live in, yes, I do keep myself up to date on current worldwide issues and yes, I do know how to have an intelligent conversation.
When they find out I have seven children...then they become interested, then they become fascinated and then they want to listen. But you know what...what if I didn't have seven children...what if I had one or two children...would they want to speak to me then?
It makes me sad to often see and hear that being a stay at home mum is still thought of as an easy job, as a waste of time and that people generally think I should be doing so much more with my life.
Loving and nurturing my children to me is the BEST use of my life and my time. My cherubs mean so much to me and raising happy, healthy, self reliant, motivated children is the best gift that I believe I can give society.
We need more people who are prepared to work hard, who want to be involved in our communities, who want to help others and who want to focus on the importance of the family.
I know that what I am doing in my home, each day, by taking care of my children, as much as it is tiring and exhausting and stretches me to my limit, is the right decision for me. I don't need to look to someone else to tell me it is right. I don't need the approval of some group, or some celebrity or some successful business person to tell me it is the right decision, I know it in my heart already.
Self-validation is recognising that you are okay as a person and with the choices you have made. You recognise that you do not need anything or anyone besides yourself to declare that you are okay as a person. You know you have the ability to do that yourself. I am simply doing that myself. Stating that I have that self validation and don't need the validation of others to help me know my decision is right.
If you are looking for validation from a family member, from a friend or from some other source...let it go. Validation from others may be nice to hear but it will not mean as much as finding and knowing it from within yourself. There is great power in being self validated.
Self validated mothers are powerful, deliberate mothers who parent with purpose. Just like anyone else in a career, I want to be good at what I do. My desire is to be a powerful, deliberate mother and I am thankful I have the chance to put it into practise with my cherubs.