We feel guilt for a variety of reasons. As a mother, one of the times I feel guilt the most is when I take time out to do something for myself. If I sit down at home and try to read or participate in some other relaxing activity I find myself looking towards the kitchen reminding myself I have dishes to put away or my mind starts to wander towards the washing that needs to be done. If I entertain these thoughts they start to escalate into a full blown guilt attack for actually taking time for myself.
Once upon a time, I let the guilt get the better of me. I would stop what I was doing and get up to finsh off those tasks. Now that I have had more experience with mother guilt, I ignore them. I push them from my mind and ride out the mother guilt. I let it come, I acknowledge it, I accept that is how I am feeling and then decide not to listen and to act. I keep myself firmly rooted in place and continue enjoying my time out and activity I am involved in.
It has taken me a while to get to this stage. Riding out the mother guilt took time, took practice and it took determination. For me, the guilt would come strongly, powerfully and it was hard to resist. It took me time to accept that this time out was worthwhile, that I was worthy of it and that it would be of benefit to my family. I am a big believer in taking time out to feel happier as a person, woman and mother. I love to encourage others to do so as well.
Taking a break from your normal routine is refreshing and needed. Overcoming guilt is also worth the time and effort to nourish and restore yourself. I find the older I get, the smarter I am at snatching little moments for myself and the more comfortable I am with spending time out on myself.
Although it has not been a easy journey to get to this stage it has taught me to be more aware of how I am feeling and what my needs are. Here is to happy mum's with guilt free time out!
I love that you have got t the point of riding the mother guilt out. I learned that if I took the time out for myself I cold be a better mom, wife, daughter, work colleague and for me, that really helped.
ReplyDeleteHave a great day !
Me
So true, you are no use to anyone unless you are fighting fit yourself. Look after you and the rest will follow.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this. I'm still working on the guilt-free thing, but I do force myself to sit down. Like right now. x
ReplyDeleteOh! So at the point where I can ride the guilt out! Cool - I thought I was just procrastinating :-) Seriously though, great post - we can all use a little time to ourselves to recharge the old batteries, before we blow a fuse.
ReplyDeleteSuch an important post for so many mothers to read. It certainly helps to sit down and just savour life for a moment rather than trying to conquer the never ending to-do list.
ReplyDeleteIt does take a little time to master but when you do - you will wonder why you did not do it earlier :)
ReplyDeleteGOsh Mummy Guilt is huge! I feel like the same...I should be doing something instead of taking time out.
ReplyDeleteToday hubby and I took time out ~ we had lunch together without kids...and it felt so very good. I love having quiet reading time, mind you I normally fall asleep before I finish one page of my book.
I think that Mummies need a lot of R&R so that they can be happy mummies! Wish we could understand that when my older son was little ~ now I get it with our younger one who is seven :)
thanks Naomi again as i just read this blog of yours, about mother guilt and for the last 30 years or so i have been beating myself mentally senseless that i didnt do this right, or i didnt teach my child the right way or this is the classic one i am the worst mum for not letting my daughters wear dresses they love as the style to me was too revealing. But im grateful i stuck to my guns when after they go away for 18 months or so they write to me thanking me for being persistent with them or they would have gone the wrong path, also i have now learned from your helpful input to take more time for myself and to prioritise my day to ensure i have quality time be it 15minutes, half hour just spoiling myself...
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