One of the hardest adjustments for me when I became a mother was the change in the look of my home and adjusting to now owning and taking care of a messy home. It went from being a simple organised home with just Matt and I, to in a few short years a home full of cherubs, toys and mess. See above ^^^ this is what happens when one of my children decides to take a minute to find one item!
This took a lot of adjusting to on my part and over the years I have come to find a comfortable balance with it. Now I have to say that when I am talking about a messy home, that is different, I am not talking about an un-hygenic home, but a home with general toys and books and clothes and other items that come with having children.
No matter how organised your home is, no matter how many baskets you store items in, children will create mess as they play, grow, learn and create. It is important to let children explore and to be creative and it is a vital part of their development as children. The down side of this is that it involves mess!
How we feel about it as parents also determines how creative our children will be. If they know they are allowed to make a mess, within reason here, they will feel free to be more creative. Over time I have seen my fair share of cupboards completely emptied, book shelves emptied, toy boxes tipped out, fridges raided and whole rooms destroyed. My children know and have all been taught from a young age that if you are going to make a mess you need to either clean it up yourself or help me clean it up. They know they need to be responsible for the actions and mess that they make.
This has taken pressure off of me to clean up every single mess in my home myself - which some days is more than I can handle! Of course when my children we very young, it did drive me crazy as they were too young to clean up all of the mess but most young children can pick up a block and put it in a box or basket. It is all about being consistent and training.
Now that my children are a little older they still know they can make a mess, play and have fun but they need to be responsible for cleaning it up afterwards. They make cubby houses in the lounge, build towers with blocks, set up shops and create many fun spaces and know they need to clean up afterwards. I love seeing them being creative and the mess doesn't seem as bad when I keep that in mind as a mother.
So tell me: How did you handle adjusting to a messy home?
Great piece, sometimes we have huge expectations of clean lines and clutter free house while still expecting them to b a home for our families. Balance is good
ReplyDeleteCarmel
I am still working on that one! Especially seeing there are six of us in a very small one bathroom house with limited storage!!
ReplyDeleteI guess it's a work in progress, but I would rather have it this way with four gorgeous children than not :)
Great timing blog post. My first child is 21 months and I've just had baby number 2 and have realized how it is impossible to keep the house tidy as my toddler will play and pull things out all day and I have my hands full with a newborn I can't be constantly tidying up after her. I like what you said about how them creating a mess is part of them learning and playing and creating.
ReplyDeleteI also have seven cherubs. It's between arrghh and patience that we learn to appreciate how the simple things in life are the best. Climb a tree, jump on the trampoline, read a book, skip with a skipping rope, draw a picture. Love it when they realise that they are responsible for helping out and cleaning up after themselves!
ReplyDeleteI was a teenager when I was pregnant with my first and I think I was just as messy as my children for several years after that. One of the things I love now that my kids have grown is knowing that when I clean up it actually stays that way..well, mostly..I do have a uni student in the house and a young man whose mess sometimes explodes from his room, at which point I have to put the hard word on him to reorganise his stuff!
ReplyDeleteI am still adjusting to e mess. But I like you have instilled and am a clean it up after you have I shed or help me . Teaches them responsibility in so many ways. X
ReplyDeleteI always think about 10-20 years down the track when I am going to be sitting in a perfect, clean home & all my babes will be off living their lives.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me cherish the mess now. I don't want my kids to ever leave.
And I can't bare the thought of not having a house filled to the brim with mess, laughter & yes, even the fighting. Niki
Sometimes I'm okay with it.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I just shut doors.
Sometimes I have to walk away.
Sometimes I lose it and yell.
I'm still coming to terms with the inhabitants of our house not caring for it as much as I do.
Thanks Naomi, for this realistic topic for your blog, I thought I was the only one back then, struggling to make my home neat in case visitors came which happened quite often, and oh the guilt feelings I harboured even to the point of being paranoid that when I walk past, people would be talking about my messy and cluttered home, but after my fourth child, I just gave up and just captured that special joy she had on her face after draping bedsheets all over the loungeroom playing houses with her barby dolls...now that they are grown up and left home, I miss them terribly and would give anything to have them back home messing it up again.....enjoying their love and hugs amidst much laughter and joy...
ReplyDeleteOh my, how right you are. Motherhood and mess go hand-in-hand at my place. Hopefully I can pick up some hints and tips from your lovely readers... my Little Miss isn't really on the move yet and I'm already struggling! Ha!
ReplyDeleteSo happy to see another lounge room looking like mine! I have a high tolerance for mess, but my husband doesn't. Rather than go to couples counselling we employ a cleaner for once a week.... The house stays clean for about 30 minutes before my 2 year old and 9 month old destroy it again!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you can relate and understand where I am coming from in relation to a messy home. I was hoping it would come across alright and that nobody would be offended that I was talking about the state of our homes. Keep playing and enjoying your cherubs. N x
ReplyDeleteLove this post, Naomi. I'm not the greatest housekeeper, much to my husband's dismay, however I have spent much time worrying about mess - especially after starting to rent. But, I have loosened up and even wrote a post recently about letting them make mess because I know it is important. As is learning to clean their messes up!
ReplyDeleteLove this post!! I'm on the same page as you. I let Max play, create and make mess, but when it comes time to clean up he knows that he needs to help me. He surprised me the other day, by knowing exactly what goes in each basket (I have a system), all the repetition must have paid off!
ReplyDeleteWow, you have a big family and I commend you for doing a great job on raising them. I have 2 kids and I know how messy they can be, so I can just imagine what your house looks like when they decide to play at the same time! Though if we were to have more kids, we have to move to a bigger house because our humble abode right now is kinda small and cozy.
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