Things they didn't tell you about parenting

I have read my fair share of parenting books during my time as a parent and even though I found most of them helpful in some small way, I often wished they told me more the things that nobody spoke about in relation to parenting. Those things that everyone just assumes you know as a parent but really you have no clue about until a bundle is placed in your arms and you find out the hard way and by then it all feels too late! 

I am delighted to be included in a new ebook out called "Things they didn't tell you about parenting". This ebook brings together some of the best voices from around Australia’s parent blogging sphere and each of the 32 bloggers shares a unique experience about what they wished people had told them about parenting. The stories are funny, poignant, endearing, confronting, thought-provoking, loud and opinionated, quiet and thoughtful. We were asked to share what was in our heart for a great cause, so we dug deep and shared what we all wished we knew. 

The ebook has been put together to raise money for Foundation 18 which exists to improve the quality of life of orphaned and underprivileged children, by providing them a safe environment in which to grow whilst educating them for a brighter future living in harmony with their environment. 

The foundation was established in June 2010 by Australian humanitarian and conservationist Cate Bolt. Foundation 18 Indonesia is a non-denominational, not-for-profit, non-government organisation dedicated to the physical and emotional nourishment of children. I am honoured to be able to contribute to help raise money for such a great cause. 

With a foreword by funny lady Wendy Harmer, the ebook is a great read and currently sells for $4.99. A small price to pay to help out some cherubs in need. Pop on over to http://thingstheydidnttellyou.com and pick yourself up a copy and find out what we all wished we knew before becoming a parent.

*Please know that this book does contain swearing from certain authors*

breaking up with my blog

I currently have a slight problem. A good problem but a problem nevertheless. With all of this writing I have done and am doing on my blog, I feel like I have found my voice. I know what I want to say and what I want to share but I can't find any time extra time in my schedule to do it. I also feel like I am finding myself. That I am letting the real me emerge as I am getting fitter through running, feeling healthier from giving up sugar and feeling more confident with the choices I am making in life. 

My problem is that I can't find any time to follow or listen to my voice. Something has to give.

I recently tried letting go of several other area's of my life. It did not feel right.

What feels right for me, right now, is to let go of my blog.

To take a blog break.

I am breaking up with my blog for a couple of weeks.

You see, I have achieved all of my goals and dreams with my blog. Every single one. When I set them I felt that I was dreaming big, that they never would really happen but they have. I know I probably sound silly saying this but I need a break to set bigger goals and to dream bigger dreams. I know I have been abundantly blessed in so many ways with the experiences and opportunities that have come my way. I have been left speechless so many times with the kind offers and blog comments and love shown to me as a person and as a blogger. I don't take any of that for granted. I really, really appreciate it every day.  I am amazed that I have been able to achieve these goals:

I wanted to write about how being a mother is awesome on a regular basis.

Done it.

I wanted to run a happiness project on my blog.

Done it.

I wanted to write from my heart.

Done it.

I wanted to write an ebook.

Done it.

I wanted to get 1000 followers on my blog.

Done it.

I wanted to put on a women's conference just for mother's.

Done it.

I wanted to start a facebook page and get 1000 followers.

Done it.

I wanted to write about post natal depression.

Done it.

I wanted to get paid to write for other websites.

Done it.

I wanted to be a brand ambassador for a company.

Done it.

I wanted to connect with other women.

Done it.

I wanted to meet new friends.

Done it.

I wanted to attend a blog conference.

Done it.

I wanted to be invited to be published in other books.

Done it.

I wanted a place to keep a family record.

Done it.

I wanted to increase and improve my writing skills.

Done it.

I really have no goals or dreams left to achieve.

I need some time out to set some more.

I have not set up any guest posts.

I have not scheduled any blog posts.

I am just going to take a break.

I will however continue to do my 'Happy Days in May' project.

I hope you will too.

See you in a couple of weeks with a new plan and vision.

How to create a media kit for your blog

After my recent post about working with PR companies I had several requests asking for tips on how to create a media kit for a blog. I personally have found having a media kit great to help me work with companies and to help me stay focused on what direction I want for my blog. Whilst my blog is a hobby for me, I still apply business skills when I am approached by PR agencies or brands. 

When trying to work out how to put my media kit together I contacted two women who have been awesome blog mentors for me: the lovely Tina and the lovely Katrina. Tina even has written an ebook on how to create a media kit. They both helped me work out a media kit design that reflected me and my blog and I am so grateful for the help they gave me. 

What is a media kit?

A media kit is an extension of your blog that you use to promote yourself and your blog. It is like creating a blog resume that is created in a professional looking document. It spells out clearly what your blog is about, what you are about and what you are interested in promoting on your blog. It is to answer questions PR companies or brands may want to ask you so that you can work together. It is basically an awesome brag document about you and your blog!

Why have a media kit?

Most PR companies and brands today expect bloggers to have a media kit. If you want to work on monetising your blog having a media kit will make working with companies easier. They will clearly be able to see what your prices and options are for working with them. This allows them to quickly make a decision and to also see how to best work with you as they learn about you and your blog. I have found having a media kit a great time saver, a great way to promote myself and a great way to stick to my blog plan.

How to create a media kit.

There are several different ways to create a media kit. I recommend creating a PDF document that looks like it is an extension of your blog and is professional looking. You can create one in a word document to email out to potential companies, you can add it to your blog as a PR/Advertising page like Kelly has or you can put together a document that can be downloaded right from your blog. 

What to put in your media kit

To help you know what to put in your media kit I thought I would share with you my personal media kit. When putting my media kit together I wanted it to look like it was an extension of my blog. I wanted it to be simple and easy to read, to show clearly what my stats and goals are and to show what options I have available for advertising on my blog.  

Title Page: I wanted a simple title page promoting my blog and as I have a blog that has a lot of white and very little sidebar clutter I wanted a title page to look the same.

About Me Page: As I am the main person behind this blog I wanted to give PR companies and brands an idea of who they are working with and a little background information about my blog. This is the perfect time to go to town and to promote yourself big time!! Notice I still keep it simple and easy to read.

About your blog: This is the place to sell your blog. It is where you tell potential clients just how awesome your blog is and get them excited about working with you. Share with them what your focus is, what goals you have and what you do on your blog. Include as much information about your blog as you can to help promote yourself. If you have been involved in any projects, won any awards or have had any incredible experiences, share them.

Your social media reach: Most PR companies and brands want to know your social media reach and how much influence you can have to promote products or events. If you want to monetise your blog this is very important. This is where you list all the ways you use social media to touch others. 

Install google analytics on your blog so you can know what your blog stats are. They give a different set of numbers than the blog stats you have generally in blogger or wordpress. Most bloggers use google analytics to take a monthly screen shot to include in a media kit. PR companies will even email you sometimes to ask for a current screen shot before they even consider you for a campaign. 

Companies and brands will want to know how many unique visitors (new or individual visitors) you have to your blog for the month, how many pageviews (hits on your blog) and your bounce rate (how long people stay on your site). 

If you are starting out as a blogger and are feeling like your blog pageviews are too low to work with brands, think again. When working with a blogger, PR companies and brands like to look at the community feel of a blog as well. If you have readers who are regular and comment on your blog then that is a big plus and you can have a greater influence sometimes than a blogger who has high pageviews and little interaction with readers. 

Now let me share a few words of wisdom about blog stats: 

If you watch your blog stats daily you will quickly get depressed. 

The amount of pageviews on your blog does not determine your self worth as a blogger.

Lower blog stats does not mean the quality of your writing is bad.

There will always be another blogger who seems to be doing better than you stats wise.

Blog stats will go up and down and the key is to not let your emotions go up and down with it.

Now I know some of you want me to give you numbers of what stats are good as a blogger. Here is what I have learned: numbers always make people feel depressed and not good enough. So instead I am going to share with you what my personal experience was in relation to stats and PR/brand approaches. So remember, this is what happened to me and it is not what may happen or have happened to you. 

When I had 3000 pageviews on my blog a month I did not get any approaches from PR companies but I did start getting spam comments :) When I had 10,000-15,000 pageviews a month on my blog I started getting small approaches from companies to giveaway items such as a food item, a $5-$20 voucher or a DVD. When I had 30,000 pageviews a month on my blog I started getting approaches from companies to giveaway toy packs, cleaning product packs and larger food packs. When I had 60,000 pageviews on my blog I started getting approaches to giveaway clothing, shoes, makeup, stationery and to attend events interstate. Now that I get over 60,000 pageviews a month I get approaches to do a large variety of products.

Advertising Options: This is where you spell out clearly the options you have available on how you are prepared to work with a PR company or brand. Choose your wording wisely and try to include as many specifics as you can. Think about postage, the product involved and if you want to keep it, if you are prepared to give a guarantee and let them know exactly what you are prepared to do and not prepared to do for them.

As you can see on my blog I charge $250 to do a sponsored blog post. I chose this price because it is a price I feel comfortable with and a price I feel I am worth. When I first started out doing sponsored posts I charged $110. Many other bloggers charge a lot more than that. I spell out clearly that if a company sends me a product I keep it. Some companies will try to send you a product to review and then expect you to send it back. Some companies will also try to send you a second hand product to review (which makes no sense to me!) and then expect you to send it back. I don't do second hand and I don't send products back.

I also charge $100 to run a giveaway on my blog. Giveaways can take a lot of time and effort as a blogger and I can also guarantee a high number of entries on my blog as I am known for having super awesome giveaways. 

With product reviews I also charge a fee on top of receiving the product. I do not do reviews very often on my blog since I discovered that if I share a product, women will actually go out and buy it! Therefore I am very selective on what I share on my blog. I take that responsibility very seriously. 

This is also where you can spell out if you have sidebar advertising as an option for advertising. Include how much you charge a month and what size badge they can add to the sidebar. You can include different sizes for different prices. Also include if you offer a discount for booking several months in advance.

In setting out clearly what my prices and options are it helps me stick to them. I send out my media kit as a reply to an approach and basically say take it or leave it. I don't negotiate on price. I have even turned down some great opportunities as they were $10 short on payment. It saves me so much time with back and forth emails trying to negotiate a deal. If they want to work with me and believe I am a good fit for a campaign they will step up to my options. Simple as that.

Guidelines and Payment Options: This is where you add in any extra information you want PR companies or brands to know about working with you. Spell out clearly exactly what you want and how you want payment to be made. Include all of your personal details you want to share. I have only shown half of my page here as the bottom part of the page contains my payment details and personal address. 

Creating a media kit for your blog does not need to be complicated and can easily be put together if you know what you want as a blogger. You can make it as long or as short as you want. It is your media kit and an extension of you and your blog so have fun with it. My media kit is simple and serious in tone but feel free to be bold and fun. I hope you have found this helpful and it has answered some questions you have had and inspired you to put one together for yourself. Have fun!

Blogging: Understanding PR emails

I have really enjoyed working with many different Public Relations (PR) companies as a blogger over the years with my Seven Cherubs blog and have been thankful for the opportunities that have come my way because of them. I have had some really cool experiences, been invited to meet some wonderful people and have had my eyes opened to a whole new range of topics and styles of writing that I never thought were possible.

I know when I first started my blog I had no idea that you could even work with PR reps as a blogger and was shocked when I received my first email asking me to help promote a product. I was very surprised that they were interested in working with me and quickly replied saying that I was willing to give it a try. I decided to try it to see if I liked it and if my readers would respond to it. Thankfully they did and I have had a wonderful time promoting and challenging myself with writing different blog posts for a variety of products.

Since that time I have received hundreds of emails from PR companies asking me to work with them. From my experience I have discovered that PR reps tend to send out 3 different types of emails. Knowing the difference of what these emails are and how to reply to them has saved me a lot of time as a blogger and allowed me to spend more time with my family. 

Being a blogger is not a full time work for me so I quickly taught myself how to effectively assess if an email was worth replying to or if hitting the delete button was the best option. I often get emails from other women starting out in blogging asking me how to respond to a PR email when they receive one for the first time. So here are my tips and advice on how to understand the 3 types of PR emails you may receive as a blogger:

1. A press release - Normally these emails are a straight copy and paste type of email that contains information about the product they are trying to promote. Often they will even state at the beginning of the email: Press Release for Immediate Distribution. These emails will not include a hello or be personally addressed to you as a blogger. 

A tip if you are thinking about replying to them is that they are normally bulk emails sent out to bloggers and are a clue that if you want to be involved in promoting this product that a whole bunch of other bloggers are also deciding if they want to be involved in it as well. 

These type of emails I do not even read. I delete them immediately. I only accept emails from PR reps if they personalise them simply because I now get a lot more emails and I don't have the time to read through them. It seems that some PR companies feel that bloggers are like magazines or even newspapers and think that sending out a press release is the best way to work with us. From the variety of experienced bloggers that I have spoken to over the years, none of us generally like to get a press release email.

If you are new to blogging and do receive a press release email and want to be involved because you feel it fits your blog or it is a product you are interested in promoting and reviewing feel free to reply and you will surely get back a very happy email from the PR rep. 

Press release emails can also be helpful if you are looking for blog content and are having a writers block. You can also use the information to keep your blog running if you are taking a break. Another tip is to use the content to do a shout out on your facebook page or twitter if you are also looking for something different to share.

2. Dear Blogger: The second type of email they send out is a personalised email but only as far as calling you a blogger. Often these emails are also bulk emails sent out to a group of bloggers to quickly get the message or product out to see who will be interested in working with them. 

One thing to keep in mind with PR reps is that they can't sit down and read every single blog that is out there so they send out bulk emails and go from there. They can then look through who replies and work out who they think would best fit the campaign they are working on.

As these emails are generally addressed to any blogger, you may find that as you read through them that you will spend a lot of time thinking to yourself, why in the world are you emailing me as it is so obvious if you read my blog that this is not a product or company that I want to work with. You can tell immediately that they have not even read your blog!

They will be emails that cover a wide variety of products, events and promotions so be prepared to make your own careful assessment on whether they fit your blog or not. If you are interested in it go for it, make it happen and give it a try.

I have received a lot of dear blogger emails in my time. Most of them I delete but some of them I have replied to and ended up with a wonderful experience promoting a great product and even been able to include a giveaway for my readers. 

My favourite type of dear blogger email I have ever received though actually started with, Dear Sir....

3. Personalised and Specific: I so love to receive a great PR email. I almost want to cry with delight when I get them as they are so rare! Let me share with you what they include; they address me as Naomi, they introduce themselves and the product or event in detail, they are positive and fun and they clearly spell out exactly what they are wanting me to do as a blogger. 

They understand that for me to work with them there needs to be something in it for me and for my readers. They know that is important to me and will influence me in saying Yes to deciding if I want to work with them. They clearly spell out what they are offering and have already planned out what to offer me and my subscribers before sending me the email, saving me time with back and forth emails and negotiations. 

In this email it will also contain links for me to click on to learn more about the product and company involved, saving me time from having to research it on my own and there is no pressure to be involved in the campaign. There is also the understanding that I will be sending a media kit with prices and different options on how I work with companies and the expectation and request that they will receive one from me. 

Although I often do send my media kit in reply to these type of emails, I have to share that when I receive a well set out PR email I often love it so much that I am happy to promote the product for free as they have saved me so much time negotiating and researching. As they make working with them sound fun I normally reply immediately as I get excited to be able to promote it and to share it with my readers.

Here in Australia more and more PR companies are understanding that we want to be compensated for our work and our time we put into on our blog posts but that is a topic for another day :)

Some advice to remember when dealing with PR emails:

There is a person at the end of a PR email so be polite.

If you are starting out and want to work with PR companies start small and take any option you feel comfortable with.

PR emails can be frustrating to deal with and there is nothing wrong with hitting the delete button.

PR companies here in Australia are slowly understanding more and more how to work with bloggers so be patient.

It is a new learning experience working with bloggers for PR as it is for us working with them.

The more we help them understand what we want as bloggers the easier it is to work with them.

Building a relationship with the PR people involved will help you have a happier and more personal experience.

Often PR reps will tell you they have no budget to pay you and you need to work out what you can receive in return.

Spell out clearly what you want and what you need.

Remember you can change your mind at anytime with a campaign.

Do not be afraid to ask how many people are going to be involved in promoting a product.

Have fun and be grateful for opportunities that come your way.

I hope that this has been helpful and it is just my opinion of what I have found over the years. You may feel that I have it completely wrong or have had a different experience. I am not out to put down PR companies and I totally understand that for many of them it is hard to work with us as bloggers simply because they do not have the budget to pay us when they really want to. 

I can't imagine how difficult it must be to promote a product with no budget to pay anyone or product to even use to give to people to review or as payment for writing a blog post. I don't understand how that works but that is the reply I get some times in answer to my return emails. No budget and no product - why bother emailing I say! 

                                                            

blogging: blog deeply and feel happier

blogging deeply

I really don't have many personal goals for my blog.

I have been blessed to reach all of them already.

One of my personal goals that I do have for this year is to blog deeply.

To not just share the general happenings of our home but to share more from my heart.

For me this involves being braver, addressing more issues and creating more meaningful discussions.

I want to do this to create more meaning in my life, to have a stronger voice.

To use my blog voice for good and to help other people if I can.

To look a little deeper at how I feel and at how others feel.

Don't get me wrong, I love general chit chat, I just want to challenge myself more.

I don't know if I will be good at it but I want to try to see how I go.

As I blog deeply, I know I will feel happier.

Having a blog is a wonderful platform to express yourself and I know it will not be easy.

It means opening myself to more criticism as I share how I feel.

It seems that the more popular you become as a blogger the more people expect from you.

The more people expect from you the more they criticise you.

I know I need to prepare myself for that. 

I find it ironic that I need to toughen myself up so that I can soften my heart to share more.

I have a few topics I want to write about more deeply.

I am a little afraid to address them but also feel it is part of my blog journey.

As I take this step I know I will learn more about myself and also more about you, my readers.

How can I not move forward in this direction?

It sounds wonderful, scary and exciting at the same time.

I also believe I will feel happier as a person and a blogger if I write more deeply.

Having just returned home from a blog conference, I feel really happy about my blog.

I feel confident, I feel content and I feel completely happy with my blog decisions.

I hope you will continue to join me and I thank you for supporting me on this blog journey so far.

I look forward to learning more about you as I share more about me.

Sounds weird, but that to me what blogging is all about.

Connecting, sharing and telling personal stories.

blogging tips: How to find time to blog

One of the questions I get asked the most as a blogging tip is:

How do you find time to blog?

When I first started a blog I set myself a goal that I would fit it around my family time. My family comes first in my heart and I did not want my blog to become the first priority for me. In saying that I also believe that it is important as a woman and mother to have time to follow your passions in life, to do what you love to do and to make time in your schedule for those passions. With those two ideas in mind I set out to find a comfortable balance of taking care of my family and also following my passion and running my blog. 

In the beginning I found running a blog took up a lot of my time. I would spend a great deal of time on each blog post (mainly because I lacked confidence in my writing) and extra time learning about blog code, SEO and all the other aspects of having a blog. I would write my blog posts at night time after the kids went to bed and would often stay up really late commenting on other blogs. 

Now, I manage my blog very differently. I now get up early in the morning to write. I find my mind is clearer in the morning, I have fresh ideas and I can get my writing done faster compared to late at night where it felt like it would take me 10 minutes to put one sentence together! Getting up that little bit earlier gives me time to myself, I start my day doing something that I love to do and I feel happier for the rest of the day because I have written my thoughts out and I have had some 'me time'.

I also keep several blog posts on the go at once. If I have an idea I start writing out my thoughts and I will often come back to finish it off later on when I am having a day where I am not feeling very inspired. Every so often I will spend a night batch blog post writing. I might get Matt to take the kids out or they might all go and watch a movie in our rumpus room and I will sit down and smash out 5 or 6 blog posts in that one night. Then I can schedule them throughout my week and I can spend more time on my family.

I also have a blog notebook to write down any ideas about blog posts that I have and will refer to it when I do my blog writing. Often with one idea I can get 3 or 4 blog posts out of it. However, I find one of my biggest problems is that I have too many ideas and not enough time!

I also plan out in advance what blog posts I am going to post for the month on my blog. I write up a schedule and then discipline myself to stick to it. I say discipline because often I am not in the mood for writing those blog posts or for posting that topic on that certain day and I find it takes discipline to stick to a plan. 

I think that a lot of people who start a blog are shocked at how much work it is to run one. It really does take a lot of work to maintain but if it is something that you love to do, it will not feel like work as you love it and are passionate about it. 

For me personally, I am constantly working on ways to balance it better with my family. I pay attention to how my children are feeling towards me and my blog. If they feel I am spending too much time on it I cut back. I post less often and I drop the extra time of replying to comments. I love to reply to comments but if my children need me then it becomes my priority to reply to my children when they need me instead. I also try to keep a bunch of blog posts in reserve so that if I want to take a couple of weeks off to focus more on my family I can. This way my blog will keep running as I schedule those blog posts in and it becomes kind of like taking a blog holiday but nobody knows you are taking one!

I really appreciate that my readers know that my family comes first for me. They understand that I am not good at replying back some days, that I do appreciate every comment and that I love to write and to share my thoughts and ideas. Letting your readers know what your priorities are really helps you manage your blog and time as well. Then there is less pressure and expectation upon you as a blogger.

blogging: embracing new change

This year with my blog I have been unsettled.

I have been struggling with making a new change.

The direction I have been taking has just not felt right and I have wanted to give up my blog several times in the past month. I have sat down to write a blog post a couple of times in the past week and have burst into tears. 

So unlike me and so not how I feel about my blog and writing.

You see, I have been having an inner blog battle. A necessary battle to bring me where I am today. Feeling more confident, happy and relieved. Ready to embrace new change. To step forward and to head in a direction I know is right for me, even though is may not be popular or people may not like it.

In the past with my blog I have enjoyed working with companies and promoting products and running giveaways. My reasons for doing this were that I love working with business', I love working out how to promote a product and the challenge of writing about it in a fun way. I also enjoyed earning a little money to pay to go to blog conferences and to receive free products for our family. I also totally love having fun giving items away to help families and to bring a smile to a mum's face when they win.

I also enjoyed having advertising on my blog. It was lovely to work with great companies and to represent them in a way as a blogger. I have been so blessed by the offers that have come my way and by the money I have been able to make. I really appreciate the wonderful people who believed in me and my blog and approached me to represent and work with them. It was fun and I learned a lot.

Having done all of that and worked hard at trying to be a blogger who had blog advertising, who worked with PR companies, who had sponsored posts and promoted great business', I have decided it really is not me. 

It does not make me happy. I am not that kind of blogger.

After 2 years of running Seven Cherubs I have discovered that I am a blogger who loves to simply write about; my family, about being a mother, about being happy, about being sad, about simply beautiful jewellery finds, about keeping it real and about blogging.

I want to just write. I don't really care about making lots of money in everything I do. I want to write on my blog and to write for other websites and to spread the word that being a mum is awesome, it is hard and it is incredible.

I have been a little scared about making this change as I have been working with brands for over 18 months now and it is a big shift for me. Basically it has come down to the fact that it is time for me to look at my own brand and my brand is simple. 

Here it is:

I am a mum who blogs about being a mum.

That is all I want to be.

So I am finishing off my commitments.

Then embracing new change.

I hope you will stick around to join me.

simply beautiful jewels: my personalised necklace

It is no secret that I love jewellery.

I wear it every single day.

Today I am stepping out of my comfort zone and sharing one of my new 'simply beautiful' blog posts. I decided to call it simply beautiful as I like to look beautiful every day and I also like to keep it simple. I wanted to share some of the jewellery I wear and hopefully give you some ideas as well. I love jewellery as it helps me to feel happier and I love accessorising my outfits. 

One item of jewellery I have always wanted to own is a personalised necklace. Something special to represent our family. The chances of me ever having some spare cash to get one made up for me has been very slim lately. So I decided to improvise and am delighted with the results.

I created my own personalised necklace when I found these charms on sale in Diva for $2 each. I grabbed one to represent each member of our family. I then added them to a necklace I already owned and I loved that it has the same look at the charms. Perfect match.

I can now wear each family member close to my heart. Total cost being $18. I am happy with that bargain personalised necklace. As far as wearing it goes, it does not sit flat against my chest but hangs more in a bunch. I love the look of it and I love to wear it with stripes or even sitting nicely underneath a shirt. It is also a fun necklace as when I am wearing it my cherubs come up to find which letter they are and get excited that 'they' are hanging around my neck. It really does become a personal necklace.

Wearing the actual necklace. I think I need to smile more next time!

  

By the way: I am very, very excited to be a Mix Apparel Blogger. 

Check it out HERE!

My creative space and where I write

Just in case you were wondering where I write and blog.

Where my creative space is.

Here it is.

Yes, my lounge room wall is blue.

Yes, I like a clean desk.

Yes, I have a spare chair next to me for cherubs.

Yes, I made those flowers on the wall.

Yes, I love spending time here.

So now you can see where I normally sit to write.

Nothing too exciting but I love it.

Simple, blue and uplifting for me.

Have a great weekend.

Instagram Photo Challenge

I love Instagram and just had to participate in this challenge.

Designed by Positively Present and introduced to me by Tina Gray.

Here are my images below:

The explanation if you are interested:

1. Lindt Chocolate Balls - my favourite chocolate
2. Liahona excited we have our tree up
3. Wrapping presents for my cherubs made me really happy
4. Colourful leaves from our garden
5. Morning sky was very bleak for a couple of days here
6. Some of my books
7. I totally adore this art work of me by Sam and Eli
8. I love my blue bedroom
9. My source of strength
10. I adore my Frangapini in my backyard
11. A painting done for my by my grandmother
12. My cherubs holding Lindt chocolate bears
13. Harmony loving the pool
14. Love this necklace from Sam
15. My blog growth - thanks so much everyone!
16. My chickens
17. A treasured memory - my wedding day
18. New shoes - Big W
19. My handsome best friend - hubby!
20. Christmas countdown Santa
21. Where you sleep - in my blue bed
22. My hot pink jacket I picked up at Sportsgirl many years ago
23. I store my shoes on book shelves
24. Grateful to be a mum - with Chelsea rockin a perm
25. A fish by Liahona
26. Liberty on her scooter
27. The never ending laundy work in my home
28. Disco light for new years eve
29. Someone very excited nearly to be taller than me!
30. Me.

You can follow me on Instagram as sevencherubs and I am now having fun with this challenge.

Have you ever participated in a photo challenge before?

Seven Cherubs turns 2 and filling the gap.

Seven Cherubs is now two years old. Woo hoo!

Back on January 11, 2010 I published my first Seven Cherubs blog post:

Ready, Set, Start! 

Kind of original don't you think?

Since that time I have been on a wonderful adventure of writing from the heart, connecting and meeting wonderful readers and other bloggers and recording many family experiences. I have loved so much of it and look forward to what the next year will bring.

During this time I have done A LOT of writing. I have been discovering and learning what my writing style is, trying to be creative in what I share and in a way have been trying to write out all of the bad stuff so I can get to the stage where I start writing my best stuff. Confused?

Basically, I have been trying to fill the gap....that gap between where you know where you want to be verses the level you really are sitting at. It is like you know you have some talent but are still learning and developing and just can't quite get yourself to that dream level. The only way you can get there is through hard work, consistent work and by pushing yourself.

I have been trying to push myself to fill that gap by writing and writing and doing even more writing. I did a heck of a lot of blogging last year. Too much maybe but I know I learnt great lessons in the process. I know I still have a way to go. BUT, I can feel that gap starting to close...that I am getting to the stage where I am more confident, more creative and more experienced.

Ira Glass says it best.


Ira Glass on Storytelling from David Shiyang Liu on Vimeo.

I am hoping that in the next year I can close that gap and be at my best. A girl can dream right? That what I have to offer with my writing will touch more hearts, will encourage more women to enjoy mothering and will inspire more women to believe in themselves.

Instead of doing a giveaway or some other celebration on reaching 2 years I wanted to share something that would inspire those of you who have blogs or are in other creative fields to not give up. What you are going through and feeling is normal and I encourage you to continue, to push yourself and to close that gap. Don't destroy yourself or your family in the process, but step out of your comfort zone and go for it, don't hold back!

Thank you for your wonderful support over the past year and here is to another awesome year with Seven Cherubs.

drowning in success

I have had a bit of a struggle lately with my blog. I have felt swamped, worn out and undecided on what direction to take.
It was with these feelings that I decided to take a little break.

Best decision ever!

During this break, my 'blog eyes' were opened and I saw that I was drowning in my own success.

Now, by talking about success I am not saying I am some big shot awesome blogger, I am talking about the progress that my blog has made, the emails that arrive in my mailbox and the opportunities that keep coming my way.

Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for the opportunities I have had and have loved participating in so many of them.

I read a statement that sums up how I feel perfectly:

"Saying 'NO' to opportunity is painful. But necessary. Because the more successful you get, the more opportunities flow your way. People line up. But if you say 'YES' to everybody and everything, you will soon drown in your own success." Dan Kennedy

I have been saying 'YES' to everything and everyone for too long.

I have been drowning in my blog success and before Christmas actually drowned!

This year I plan on saying 'No' A LOT. I plan on swimming, with my head out of water and having fun whilst doing so.

This does not mean that I will not participate in opportunities. I plan on enjoying some of the great opportunities that come my way and having a total blast whilst doing so.

What it does mean is that this year I will be more mindful and careful of the pressure I put upon myself, I will be saying no more and protecting my family time and time for me.

Having a blog has helped me learn so many new life skills and this year I am practicing the skill of saying No.
Boldly and deliberately. A great lesson to learn.

Goodbye 2011 and Hello 2012!

I hope I am not the only one who feels like this but, I am still getting my head around the fact that we are actually in 2012. The older I get, the faster the years just seem to fly by! So I guess it is time to officially say goodbye to 2011 and to welcome 2012 into my life. Time to embrace it and to accept it.

Blog wise, 2011 was full of wonderful experiences with a few challenges thrown in just to test me a little and to keep me on my toes. I managed to smash out 341 blog posts last year. I seem to have a lot to say ... and that was with holding myself back!

I shared how blogging makes me feel depressed.
I shared tips on how to avoid social media depression.
I shared my tips for working with brands and pr companies.
I tried to remove more noise from my blog.
I decided I was happy to be an imperfect blogger.
I shared why you should start a blog.
I had a blog breakdown and started over.
I had fun attending a few blog conferences.
I wrote my first ebook and have now given away over 700 copies.
I achieved a blog dream.
From April to May I ran a Happiness project journal project.
In June I blogged a whole month of happiness.

Family wise, 2011 saw my cherubs progress and develop at such a rate that I just wanted to stop the clock so I could keep up with them all. My oldest cherub is now 13 and my youngest cherub is now 4. They continue to amaze me, encourage me and stretch me every day to be a better person and mother.

I shared how some days I feel like a lonely mother.
I shared some tips for avoiding mother guilt.
I shared how I am happy as a stay at home mum.
I shared how I find sweetness in serving my family.
I ran a Cherish your cherubs project about my family.
I shared trips to the park and wetlands.
I wrote about what mothers want.
I shared general happenings around our home.
I shared birthdays and more birthdays and birth stories.
I shared parenting tips from Nathan.
I shared how I live with a family of cheaters.

I shared my 2011 blog goals and achieved all of them. So then I set new goals and achieved those as well. I know I only did this with your support and I thank you so much for the love and kindness you have shown me.

For 2012. I am working a new plan.
I have no goals for working with brands or companies.
I have no goals for trying to be a power blogger.
I have no desire to win awards or to secure big deals.
I have no desire to run so many giveaways, they are too much work.
I have no desire to put my blog before my family.

I do plan to write...lots!
I do plan to write deeply and to write from my heart.
I do plan to put my head down and to blog my own race.
I do plan to be fierce...to protect my blog space.
I do plan to say NO to opportunities and to be wise.
I do plan to share my new ebook with you...soon.
I do plan to run a few new blog projects.
I do plan to have fun and to write more about my cherubs.
I do plan on finishing my happiness list.

From February I can start my new plan. Through January I am finishing off commitments.
I am excited to share 2012 with you and look forward to connecting with you more.

5 tips to avoid social media depression

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A little while ago I recorded a vlog about how I feel about being a blogger. I shared how blogging can cause blogger or social media depression. As much as I love having a blog and being a blogger, I have days where I find this blogging business totally exhausting and downright depressing. It is a lot of work running a blog and it can be depressing as a blogger when you pour your heart out and no-one comments. I know I am not alone in feeling this way by the many private chats I have had and also by the comments that were left on my vlog post.

I have been writing on my Seven Cherubs blog for nearly 2 years now and have had many highs and lows during that time. For my lows, I have worked through my emotions of not feeling good enough when I enter the dangerous territory of comparing myself to other bloggers. I worked really hard to be one of those popular bloggers and totally drained myself in the process. I have come to accept that I simply am not one of those popular bloggers that everyone adds to their blogroll. (For those people who do have me on their blogroll - a big thank you I do appreciate it!)

I am one of those blogs that people like to read but not to actually show that they came to visit by leaving a comment on a post or to even admit that they like my writing and what I have to share. I have many blog stalkers....silent stalkers and I know you are there because my blog stats tell me so.

I am happy for you to stalk and to read, I am not going to take it personally and I appreciate you doing so. I accept that this is how my blog is and how it is going to continue to be. I am not one of those bloggers where people just have to leave a comment because they are so cool and you just want to try to be close to them or part of their blog. Don't worry, I get it...this is not high school and I am not in the cool crowd. I blog my own way and I am happy.

I have also had many wonderful moments where I have received some lovely comments from readers who have inspired me and touched me in wonderful ways. I love comments and I love getting to know you better. But, as a blogger if I set my mood or writing according to the comments and visits I receive each day I know I would spend a lot of my time feeling very depressed.

So today I wanted to share with you some of the lessons I have learned on my blog journey and my top 5 tips of how to avoid social media depression. Yes, it is real and it happens!

1. Social Media Depression: Know what social media outlet brings YOU happiness

There are many different social media sites available today to help you promote yourself. I have personally tried spending time in all areas that I know of that help me connect with other bloggers and readers of my blog. Some of the choices available today are: facebook, twitter, google +, linkedin, instagram, pinterest etc. I have found that some social media sites cause me to feel more depressed quicker than others.

On twitter I find I feel sadder the fastest as I can often throw out a tweet only to find that no-one will respond. I may also try to respond to someone or tweevesdrop in on a converstation only to be ignored. Often I try to share a blog post that I love only to not get a thanks from anyone and especially the person who owns the blog. All of these incidents can contribute towards me feeling lonely and not popular as a blogger and a person (I do have some self esteem where I do value myself, I just wanted to add!). So now I only spend a small amount of time on twitter and do not expect to get any response from anyone. When I do get a response or a thank you it is a lovely surprise and I enjoy it but I do not rely on it.

I spend more of my time on Instagram and Facebook as I get a better response and I feel happier in those social media settings. Knowing what social media outlet you enjoy the most and what is going to help you feel happier is where you should choose to spend your time.

2. Social Media Depression: Set a time limit 

We all know how easy it can be to get distracted by social media. Many times I have sat down to write a blog post or to even pay my bills and made the mistake of checking what is happening on facebook. Several hours later, I have been shocked to discover that half of my morning has disappeared and I ended up finding out 50 things about 50 people that I really did not need to know or read 10 articles that did not uplift me in any way, shape or form.

I actually spent a day testing out how I would feel if I spent most of my time on twitter and facebook. I found it very, very depressing. I felt exhausted from doing very little physical exercise, mentally frazzled from reading so many boring and ranty updates, emotionally saddened from getting very little response and connection on twitter and by the end of the day found it very hard to count my blessings.

Having a time limit or alarm set for how long you will spend on social media will allow you to stay on track with other personal responsibilities or goals you may have set for that day. I have been working on sticking to my assigned task for the day and then rewarding myself with some social media time. So much more productive and I find I enjoy my social media time more when I know I have worked hard before hand to earn that break

3. Social Media Depression: Have a blog goal 

Taking the time to write out what you want to achieve with your blog will help you know clearly what you need to do as a blogger. When you feel depressed and lonely, returning to your blog goal will keep you focused and determined to keep moving forward.

If your goal is to simply have a blog as a personal record for your family then it does not matter who you connect with. It is lovely to make blog friends but if you are not receiving a lot of comments do not let it stop you from writing and remembering. Keep moving forward by writing and treasuring your family.

If your goal is to use your blog to promote your business then find out where your target audience spends most of their time in social media and start spending your time there. Keep writing and promoting yourself and your products and do not stop. Believe in what you have to offer and do not give up.

If your goal is to write and uplift others, distracting yourself by wasting time trying to connect with certain popular groups may not be what will help you reach out to others. Look at who you want to really touch and help and then write specific blog posts that you know will help them. I have found that meeting popular bloggers has been lovely and delightful but it has not really helped to increase my blog traffic as much as writing specific blog posts has for my readers.

You may be surprised to see that when you look at your original blog goal that you may already be achieving what you set out to do and that you can be happy with your accomplishments. Wandering off on a different blog path that others are choosing to take or trying to keep up with what other bloggers are doing, will only lead you to feeling depressed and upset when you may not receive the same response that they do. Set your own goals and your own path and stick to it.

4. Social Media Depression: Know that we are all similar but unique

Something that really worries me...A LOT....is when I hear about other bloggers feeling depressed and deleting blog posts. I hear of bloggers who spend a great deal of time writing a blog post, then get ready to post it to only to discover that someone else may have written a blog post on a similar topic. They then doubt themselves and start to worry that others may feel they have copied or stolen the idea and go ahead and delete the blog post that they wrote.

Do not delete blog posts you have written and I am talking about original writing here and not copy/paste blog posts. If you are worried that a blogger may feel you have copied a blog post you have written, link to them in your post, email them and let them know and ask how they feel about it if you are really worried.

My advice is to keep all of your blog posts as you may even rework them later on in the future. I also keep those blog posts that I have written and I know I will never publish - you know, when you get in one of 'those' moods. I print them out and add them to my journal as it is an important record of how I was feeling. Even when I look back on it and my writing is a little dramatic and full of too much emotion. I keep them as I believe in keeping it real in life.

Be confident with what you have to say and do not feel like you do not have anything to contribute. We all write about very similar topics as bloggers but we are all unique and have a different slant/version/opinion/perspective on life. Do not let yourself feel worthless or depressed because someone else has written about something you wanted to write about. Believe in what you have to say and know that others will be touched and uplifted by your words.

5. Social Media Depression: Know that social media is unrealistic

I wrote a post about being a snapshot blogger talking about how most bloggers only show you a snapshot of their lives. They show you a small little section of what life is like for them and often leave out all of the not so fun parts of life. If you spend a lot of time during your day on the internet reading blogs, reading status updates on facebook and twitter you can quickly start to feel like your life is boring and worthless. It always seems as if everybody else is having more fun, has better children, is going on holiday, has an immaculate home, has a great sponsored post opportunity...the list is endless.

I even worry that here on my own blog where I try to keep things positive and uplifting that many other women see our family as an 'ideal family' in many ways. We are not ideal or perfect. We love each other and are trying our best but we have such a long way to go in being a good example to others. I also love to write about keeping it real by sharing challenges and trials. The last thing I want is to be portraying a family who is perfect. We are far from it.

Keeping a realistic perspective of life will help you to avoid feeling depressed when using social media. I am all for using the internet, social media and especially blogs to connect with other people and especially women and mothers to help you feel uplifted and not so lonely in your personal life. Having said that, if your blog or social media is your life and your only connection with the outside world then you need to get out more and to get a real life, life. As difficult as it may be, (I want to say here that I am not referring to people who are suffering from a real form of depression in any form as I know that is a whole different situation and challenge) it will help you overcome general feelings of feeling low or depressed and help you see things as they really are.

Now that I have shared my tips I would love to know if you have anything that you would add:

What you have you found as a blogger or as a social media user?

Do you feel depressed the more time you spend using it or do you just find it fun and enjoy it?

bloggers as kleptomaniacs

Kleptomaniac - a recurrent urge to steal

{They often steal items of trivial value. People with this disorder generally steal objects of little or no significant value. Some Kleptomaniacs may not even be aware that they have committed the theft} 

The longer I am a blogger the harder I find it is to come across original with my work. The more I read other blogs, the harder I find it is to stick to my own thoughts and to my own writing. I find myself often feeling like a Kleptomaniac with the blog posts that I write. They seem to be a combination of many other blogs post that I have seen around the blogosphere. This worries me.

This is why I have currently stopped reading a long list of blogs. A big change and a difficult choice. I now only read a small handful and mix it up every week. With so many blogs and so many writers I find it is a challenge to come up with original ideas for a blog post. As blogging is growing in leaps and bounds here in Australia it can often feel like just about every topic to do with motherhood, parenting or blogging has already been covered.

Now, I know we are all unique and have own on spin to put on topics and we each have our own voice but how often do you stop and think: 'That post reminds me of what .... just wrote.'

Let's say I decide to write a blog post about blogging. If I spend some time checking out some other blogs I will find that most of my thoughts are already covered. Some recent posts I found are:

Zoey wrote a post about Batch writing
Sarah wrote 9 effective habits for real girl bloggers
Kristin wrote about Is blogging becoming Un-fun?
Kevin wrote about Finding your niche

The temptation to take a small part of their thoughts and to expand on it for my own blog post, can in reality seem very small and insignificant in the scheme of things. However, I know that people are reading, people are watching and people are noticing that we may be very similar in our thoughts.

I don't mind if someone takes my thought or idea and expand's on it and links back to me. What I do mind is a straight copy and paste and a few changes of words to make it their own post. That is wrong!

I guess I am wondering: 

Do you notice if blog posts are similar?

Where do you decide to draw the line? 

How far is too far in copying a blog post?